Wednesday, 08 March 2006

"I'm in charge. Don't worry."

Life seems to be a rollercoaster. Monday knocked me flat and Tuesday couldn't have been much better.

Between the bad news on not making it as an AD, accomplishing nothing in Chapel Choir, and having to act like nothing was wrong while painting the Dance Marathon banner or in Middle School Methods, I felt like it couldn't get much worse. It truly couldn't-I suffered a complete meltdown at Bible Study and I think I freaked out just about everyone there. I couldn't even eat one of brownies Mom made for the Bible Study. How sad is that?

But once again, God sent caring people to pray for me in a time of need; I've learned just exactly how potent a weapon prayer is. After almost completely shutting myself down from everything, I finally had enough guts to talk to a few people who I know care. My thanks to Ben, Nate, Brandon, Pete, AND my family for praying. You all are amazing.

God answered those prayers. I woke to a beautiful, sunny morning and it just radiated the promise of a new day, once again in God's hands. I felt Him say, "I'm in charge. Don't worry."

This day felt blessed. I went to my field placement and saw another instance of God's love manifested in the students. One in particular caught my attention today. He has a lot of needs and because of the mental disabilities he has, it can be difficult to read how much he's processing and how much he's really interacting with others. Yet while I was standing behind him, he looked directly at me and just took my hand.

I've never really heard him say anything that I could comprehend and I haven't had many opportunities to work directly with him. Yet he just took my hand and held it tight. I've barely been in the classroom half a semester and I already love him and all the other students. The beautiful thing about them is that they aren't emotionally inhibited. They'll love back and they're not afraid to show it. In this small way, this student took my hand and the message I just felt was, "I like you. You matter to me." In that one moment, I melted. Completely.

And there was the matter of Keyboard Skills. I'll make it. Prof. Le was satisfied today with what I did. Practicing is grueling, but my teacher was pleased. I'm still stressed and life as student in private piano lessons isn't an easy one. But I feel like I'm not drowning in despair and frustration. I'll get there. And I'm so glad Chelsea is there with me so we can cheer each other on.

It was good to run into Ben at the Kletz. Even though it was a short conversation (teachers are busy people), it was good to know that he wanted to know if things were better. "Thankfully, yes."

I got to chill with Pete tonight! He knew I was going crazy last night and he prayed for me. And then he told me, "Let's go out for coffee. I've been gone for awhile and we need to catch up." And so we did just that at Lemonjello's. All I can say is, there are few better things in life than spending some time with a good friend and enjoying some truly meaningful conversation. Bonus points for hot chocolate, too. Mmm.

Yes, God is still in charge. I felt horribly far away from Him yesterday, but I learned once again today that He hasn't abandoned me.

Comments(2)

GOd is good, all of the time. Its good to hear your giving all of your problems up to him.
nate
2 Peter 1:3

johnateson

God is great- that is why you have all of us friends.
It's a good thing life isn't literally like a rollar coaster. :s I'd get sick.
Of course bonus points are awarded to hot chocolate.

chickenlittle27