Friday, 21 December 2007

Just... Stop

I really need to do that more over break.

One of the things I always seek over breaks from school is rest. I get burned out after a semester because I burn the candle so hard at both ends that there's nothing left by the end. This semester was no exception, and I never thought that only 13 credits could be so incredibly demanding. Just tell that to my first all-nighter.

But it's been pretty much go, go, go ever since I came home. Church choir cantata practice on Saturday morning. Going and talking to Ms. Sopha for awhile after practice. Hanging at Steve's house later that afternoon/evening. Sunday School and church service the next morning, which includes singing the cantata, and then saying hello to a bunch of people that haven't seen me since Thanksgiving. Monday afternoon from noon till 3 is rehearsal with the high school choirs for their concert (I really am a glutton for punishment-do I EVER get away from the schools?!). Monday night is the choir concert. The rest of the time has been juggling an appointment, figuring out when to get Christmas shopping done, calling Ross & Nate, e-mailing student teaching placements, calling the Ed. Department about my evaluation and oh yeah, I should still figure out my fingerprinting thing. Hmm. And I just finally returned those CDs, only to discover I locked my keys in my car. Brilliant.

Needless to say, I'm STILL tired!!!! And it's not helping me get along with the family... *sigh* which was something else I wanted. I go home and I honestly couldn't care less about what gifts are under the Christmas tree with my name, nice as they might be. I enjoy just coming home. But that gets killed easily when I don't get along with my family, and even the cats have been grinding at my patience.

Finally, I took some time to just... stop. I really should learn from Brandon, my roommate, about this one. He's great at setting aside time regularly to go just be with God. I need to do that, too. It was wonderful. I went up in my room, where it was good and dark, away from the chaos of getting Christmas cards ready and wrapping presents and random loud questions like, "What time are we leaving in the morning?" "Can I go down there or are you still wrapping presents?" "Where are my socks?!" "Why can't I get a pizza in less than 30 minutes?!?!" (okay, maybe not the last one or two) and just spent some time alone with God. And I feel so much more refreshed. Just taking that time to be away, even if I was in my own house, was what I know now I really needed to do.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in Life Together about how community is healthy for Christians, but there is a balance that also requires being alone along with the being together that is automatically implied with the term "community." Not lonely, but alone. That same community requires people to split up sometimes. I saw that at work today, and I agree completely. I needed to get away from the small community, my family, that I live with, and now I feel better.