Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Why HIM? Why ANYONE?

I've been so absent from the blogging world. And it's not like me.

So much has happened recently, even within the past days.

With camp friends coming to visit, I thought it could be the perfect weekend. Em has a birthday, invites Kelly, Dan, & Andrew up for a night of camping at Buttersville. A quick phone call to Nate and me. It's a party! Dan comes up early with his mom, who spends the weekend golfing. Now all we have to do is wait for the out-of-town peeps to arrive. They drive up, and... IS THAT ISAIAH?!

One of the best weekends results. The best part is likely the late night sitting on the beach in "Socratic discussion," asking the deep theological questions with Andrew, Kelly, & Isaiah. Although I think we all felt silly and mainly stupid at varying points, the brain-bending conversation still makes me come back for more. Maybe that's one of the big things I miss about Center Lake and Hope. I wouldn't call it ivory tower necessarily, but it's so engaging to the brain that I could do it all day. What is love? How to define it? Why can sin not be in Heaven (what's the proof? Andrew has some ideas)? Is the soul inherently good? When is it created?

Church at such an early morning. The church part isn't so bad, but 8:30 comes so fast. Sunday School and the morning service carry on pretty much as usual, but finally my friends come crashing through the door of the balcony during the sermon. I stifled a laugh without even turning around. Somehow, I can tell it's them. I finally got to look when I'm sitting at the piano during the last hymn. The thumbs up from Isaiah made me laugh.

Lunch took us to Wendy's, where Danae had to leave early for some unknown reason. Little did we know why, but it would hit us harder than anyone would imagine. We took our friends downtown, for trying on dresses (good move running away, Isaiah), getting the local honey, checking out Todd & Brad Reed's pictures, buying that long-awaited fudge, and finding the chocolate cigars (it's a boy!). Nate & I unfortunately had to say good-bye after this. I was rewarded with a hug amoeba, which I will admit made me happy. I forgot the last time I had experienced one, besides tag-teaming with Jon and other random people on Caleb.

At Lifted Voice practice, my world began to come crashing down. I found out why Danae had left early. She wasn't in trouble, as I thought initially. Poor Lee Drelles. Alive one day, dead because of a car crash the next. Her mom called and told her to come home because of that. I guess I didn't think of it much at the time because I had to focus on practicing right then, but it hit hard later. REALLY HARD.

I didn't know Lee at all. He was a freshman when I was a senior. I was long-gone from Ludington when he graduated. I can offer prayer, condolences to his parents, sister, and brother-in-law, but I guess that's about it.

I guess what bothered me was I found out on Sunday afternoon. Dan, Kelly, Andrew, & Isaiah were all heading home that day. I couldn't help but think of them. Four of my friends. Four GOOD friends. Four friends that, while they could drive me absolutely INSANE at times (and I went ape at just the night before for being too loud), I love them. I thought of their long car ride from Ludington to their homes. Were they going to make it home okay? Where was Lee going when he was in that terrible accident up at Michigan Tech? Was he trying to get back to his home at college? Why HIM? Why ANYONE?

Thankfully, Dan, Kelly, Andrew, & Isaiah made it home just fine. One actually just returned a joke on my Facebook wall a while ago and made me laugh. But I guess I still went to bed that night thinking of them, my other friends from camp, and from Hope, and a lot more thankful for them.

I hope Lee's friends are right that he's in a better place.

Late blog edit: in a conversation with some people at church, one of Lee's teammates who spent a lot of time witnessing to the guys in direct and less direct ways on the swim team at Ludington was sure he was saved. I guess it's some measure of small comfort, even if the wounds are still rather fresh.

Currently Listening Stay By Jeremy Camp I Still Believe see related