Fire & Ice

Camp is always leaves me feeling the same way.

I never go there to do the same things as most people. Shortly after Nate and I actually arrived at camp and had spent a little time hanging out with Kiel (I've MISSED him!) and Kris (I've missed her too, but it hasn't been since last May), we figured out housing and then started working.

Which is why STAFF come, right? We're there to help. To love on the campers (237 kids and youth staffers!), give them breakfast, keep the bathrooms from becoming a disaster, and so on.

Or, in some cases, hang out with them. I did that too. And those moments are some of the coolest.

In the sweltering heat of summer, the crisp cool of fall, or the icy cold of winter, I always come home from camp refreshed. I'm tired, as always. But so glad I went.

It was worth it. I hope the other campers and staff felt the same way.

Reading through the Bible REALLY fast!

I sometimes wonder, "What am I really doing with this thing?! I'm not THAT interesting of a person. Why anyone would want to read any of what I write personally is a mystery."

But I digress. I never know where it will take me because (like life), little surprises come up. Like the other day when Nate Storvik pitched the idea to me to read through the whole Bible. In about three months. The goal is to read through it completely before staff training begins at Center Lake.

In other instances, if I was still a full-time student at Hope, or busily teaching my own students, I'd feel afraid or turn down this endeavor. I'd doom myself to failure before I ever started. But this time, for whatever reason, I'm incredibly excited about this reading project. I wanted to do it as soon as Nate mentioned it. Because I want to grow from this. I want to be closer to God. I want to know Him more. I NEED know Him better.

The verse that hit me for some reason from today's reading (they're big-Genesis 1-11) was when God was talking with Cain after he had murdered Abel. I've read the story before but the verse hit home. In Genesis 4:6-7, God challenged Cain:

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (ESV)

Cain could do better. He could still do better to please God. With the help from the Lord of Heaven, not all would be lost, even for someone like Cain.

Being accepted by God with His help sounds pretty awesome to me.

New blog!

Moving blog entries yourself is a pain. It doesn't have me at all excited to move myself someday when I'm moving for real to a new place on my own when I'm teaching. It's going to be a whole bunch of not fun.

But this was worth it. As happy as I was with Xanga (and still trying to get used to this new formatting and such), I think it was time to move on, though I was glad to take them with me. And so here we go with a new blog.

Musings of a Mad Piano Man. Let it begin.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Love Your Neighbor, Hope College

I read an article recently that disappoints me. Even after being a Hope College graduate for a year and a half, and knowing less and less students at the institution every year, life and the overall pulse at the place hasn't changed a great deal.

The article basically was over the huge flap by this guy named Dustin Lance Black, who was the screenwriter for a film called Milk, a gay rights film. The man wanted to film a new movie in Holland and had even settled in the area and had scheduled to screen the film until administration stopped it in its tracks, setting off (big surprise) a extremely vocal reaction by students and in the community. It later screened and Black met with the dean at a local theater.

I'm not sure what to make of this. Neither side is right in this instance. Black should have gotten to know the Holland and Hope College areas better before he decided it was the right place. Knowing what a place looks like is a far cry from what it's actually like in terms of personality if you're attacking a topic such as homosexuality, as evidenced by what happened. It was a colossally stupid move to film in west Michigan and all its conservatism if you think no one is going to care if you make a movie about homosexual activism. And based on what the dean said, it's yet more bad publicity for the college.

But the more I think about it, the institution did it wrong, too (if that's indeed what happened). To agree to screen but then backpedal IS wrong. Either you say, "No thanks. We're not interested." or "Name the time and place." Realizing after you agree that you're going to offend the major lines of credit is wrong, even though that is often reality. Hope, especially as a private and Christian institution, has a free (and moral obligation) to maintain Biblical standards and must do so. And while I'm glad that they aren't backing down at least in defining what the institution's official stance is on homosexuality, so to speak, they're running into major problems with their execution. To exist in a culture of fear and even outright animosity is not the way to live. It's not what the Bible teaches and as Christians (a little Christ, a shadow of Him, I suppose), we're supposed to love our neighbors, not hate them (Matthew 22:37-40).

Come on, Hope College. Your stance is fine, but do a better job in love. Cut the "you people" accusations. And as for Mr. Black... PLEASE use your brain.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Jobs and Playing

As I sit here writing (and enjoying the fact that I'm blogging on a more regular basis again, regardless of who reads or doesn't read it), I have a number of thoughts bubbling in my head.

I'm eagerly anticipating sending off a REAL job application to an institution here in town. Like the kind doing what I want to do-teaching music to young bright minds. That sounds like so much fun to me that I can barely contain my excitement at just the thought of printing a résumé, cover letter, application, having references together, packing it up in an envelope, putting the postage on it, and sending it away and having someone even think about all that. It gets to be a drag after a short time (especially if you have to do it lots of times), but there's a certain sense of exhilaration the first time you're doing it for real. Especially now that I'm really starting to get that restless feeling of wanting to teach MY students. MY kids.

The second thought I had spinning around had to do with practice tonight. Bob had mentioned with a certain degree of irony I think on Sunday how strange or ironic that the youth are leading music on the very first Sunday of Advent and on Communion Sunday. I personally don't understand why there is a certain taboo with Advent, Communion, or why the youth would be "banned" from playing on any particular day if needed or the calendar was arranged so. If we played and sang to the Lord, with joy, as skillfully as we can (and don't sell the youth at our church short-it sounded great tonight), why isn't THAT really good enough? Isn't that what worship through music really is?

I really don't understand it myself.

Monday, 23 November 2009

DON'T PUNISH EDUCATION!

I want to be a teacher. And it's been a dream of mine for a long time.

Right now I'm working on becoming one again and hopefully that'll happen. But I've been reminded how current events rarely seem to be in favor of teachers. There's always plenty of demands placed on them, like lesson planning, grading, conferences, and all the needs of the students that aren't always so obvious, such as when parents aren't there and they rely on a teacher they trust for guidance. It seems like the work never ends.

And one of the most obvious points is how glaringly low pay has stayed for teachers. Despite costs of living continuing to increase, pay for teachers just isn't going up and with school districts everywhere having to make sacrifices, teachers are never paid well. The one potent counterweight is that teachers have great benefits.

But now Congress would love to tax the daylights out of them in order to raise money for the public health plan. How on Earth is this the right option in a recession, especially in states (like Michigan) where school districts are facing record-setting losses and trying to shield students from the losses year after year?

Monday, 23 November 2009

I come home. I go away. I return. I am thankful.

It seems I'm finally home for at least a bit of a longer stretch of time. For a while, I felt like all I ever was doing was spending my weeks doing my thing at home prepping for the weekend and weekends were spent going to camp. Or Holland. Or in one instance, both, which isn't that bad.

I really like seeing my friends and reconnecting with them. I believe that I have some of the greatest friends that I could ask for, and that has been reaffirmed in the past three weekends. I've developed a closer relationship with some of my camp friends as we've studied discipleship together in a Bible study and thought about the persecuted church during the month of November (and in the process, at least personally, developed a greater sense of perspective on thankfulness, especially when we celebrate being thankful for all the things we DO have with one of the biggest feast days of the year). I find a certain sense of irony in that, but I'll reserve my thoughts on that for another post, hopefully.

Staff Reunion was shorter this year, but I think Nate and I made the exact right move in going down to Grand Rapids afterward and then to Holland on Sunday morning. I'm always glad to be at Engedi for church because it's like another church family along with Cornerstone (and now Temple Hill), but this last experience at Engedi now a week ago was special. The service was a baptismal service and Nate and I witnessed something that I think very few people have ever seen. As usual, a number of people had planned on getting baptized, some with extremely powerful testimonies. But perhaps the most interesting was something that no one had necessarily intended, yet God knew all along would happen. It was an impromptu baptism. This gentleman that I didn't even know of came, said he was at home and had this realization that he knew a church was doing baptisms and that he needed to be baptized that morning. And so he went to Engedi and asked to be baptized. The part that brought me, well, joy was the fact that some of the men didn't turn him away because of church policies and Brian didn't either (though he did ask him in front of everyone the same questions about if he knew Jesus died for Him and if he was a Christian and if he wanted to make the public statement of being a new creation and living for Him). And just like with its own close members, the congregation erupted in celebration.

And then there was The Gathering. Shane Claiborne was brought in to speak at Hope College during The Gathering, which was the biggest reason Nate and I stopped in Holland instead of going straight home and meeting Leah and Jessica at Hope. And it was worth it. For all the controversy that supposedly surrounds this man, what he talked about a week ago didn't seem that wrong to me. Shane Claiborne talked about how he lives in a tough neighborhood in Philadelphia and reach out to the kids. How he gets sad when one of them gets hurt, or worse, dies. How he wanted to serve alongside Mother Theresa in Calcutta. And how he keeps a soldier's dogtags, a piece of detonated bomb casing, and bullet casing in his pocket to remember to pray for the suffering. If the American churches are upset because Shane Claiborne wants to pray for those that need help and are hurting or confused and want to know Jesus, then they're getting angry at the wrong person.

While I was at The Gathering on the 15th and this past weekend, I was also reminded of why I loved spending four years at Hope College so much. I jokingly tell high school kids that I know that Hope is one of the best colleges on the planet. But this is one reason why I loved it so much. While I was in Dimnent Chapel waiting with N-Sto and company, I saw Trygve Johnson & Josh Banner talking and I just wanted to talk and say hey mostly because it's hard to catch them and actually TALK. But then when they asked how I was doing, I was honest and said that job stuff is hard and a little discouraging. And instead of being simply sympathetic, Trygve pulled me in and said, "Tyler, let me pray for you. Right now." And we did for something like 5 minutes. That meant a lot. Instead of being one of several thousand alums he's sent off now in his time, it matters to Trygve how I'm REALLY doing even beyond my four years at Hope. To be known and then forgotten is absolutely heartbreaking, but not so at Hope. Not only have I felt like I was SOMEONE with a story rather than just a face, but to know that I have a Dean of the Chapel that would pray for me because I'm discouraged about wanting to teach and can't find the right job yet means so much.

And this past weekend playing for Nate & Caitlin's wedding meant two things. First, I had the pleasure once again of getting to play music for two more of my friends from school on the day when they celebrate the bond of marriage together. That's lots of fun in and of itself, although I always wonder a little if the music will come together and if the music I pick will be okay (thankfully Caitlin & Nate both liked it!). Better yet, it was a time to reunite with TONS of my closest friends from Hope, which is my other favorite part of weddings when they involve my friends from college. It's yet another excuse to hold gigantic parties with way too many people and act silly together. Who knew you could stuff 10 people in a photo booth?! And did I mention I saw BEN at the same iHOP where we did Bible Studs iHOP runs?!

Yes, I'm thankful to be home for a little while. But I'm thankful for four years spent at Hope College, even if it cost money, for the good influences it has had on me. God taught me a lot there through EVERYTHING. And I'm thankful for all the relationship I have there. Gosh, I miss them all so much. I just get to see them and enjoy them for awhile and then I say good-bye again. And I am thankful for music too.

Currently This Is Our God By Hillsong Desert Song see related

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

A much different retreat

So I went back to Center Lake again.

And it was so different this time. Ordinarily, it goes something like this:

-Roll in. Find people.
-HEYYYY!!!!
-Don gives us our instructions, hot chocolate, youth groups roll in, staff meeting, chapel, Taco Bell, and sleep
-Staff meeting, eat breakfast, chapel, hang out, eat lunch, Taco Bell/Caddy run, more hang out, eat dinner, chapel, sleep
-Eat breakfast, chapel, go home exhausted

Not this time. I got to go to Cadillac, sure. But not to hang out with other staffers or to Taco Bell. I didn't get any except as my lunch with N-Sto on our way out of Ludington. This time, the fall retreat was leadership/service-centric.

And I liked it. It was the smallest of Center Lake staff: Duane, Don, Jeff, Penny, D-Wag, Kris, N-Sto, Monika, and me, plus a rotation of staff in the kitchen. And instead of getting to hang out with Kris, N-Sto, and Monika (which I did to some degree), we worked. A lot more than I have on past retreats.

Friday was spent serving root beer floats after chapel. Saturday we were in the staff meeting, working serving breakfast and then getting lunch ready, followed by placements with the different youth groups (the kids from Mona Shores are a blast), and a short break before working in the kitchen again at dinner. And after chapel, N-Sto, Monika, and I were the staff on call for the evening, so... no Taco Bell run again. But it was okay. It was still fun to just hang out with the kids and goof around playing Apples to Apples or pretending to watch television. And Sunday, we helped once again with breakfast (and found our newly-finished screen printed retreat shirts!).

Was I a little surprised by how this retreat looked as a staffer? Oh yes. I had much less down time to play or do what I want, which is what I've been used to. Much more work/getting down and jumping to it, like camp in the summer.

But it's okay. The youth pastors and Pastor Ryan wanted this to be a leadership/service retreat, and I think it was for us all. And I enjoyed it just as much.

Currently Mighty to Save By Hillsong Live From the Inside Out see related

Comments(1)

Major General Music. I miss you. That is all.

Casey

Friday, 06 November 2009

Camp!

The high school fall retreat at camp is coming, and it will be awesome. I think I'd like out of here, for just a little while.

Friends. High school kids. Youth leaders. A pastor. The rock and roll-est worship band I've ever heard. And time with Jesus.

Sounds perfect to me for a fall weekend up north. Mmhmm.

Sunday, 01 November 2009

I Still Need Jesus RIGHT NOW

So the other night and in the morning, I had the unshakable feeling that I needed to pray for one of my campers from this past summer. I'm not sure why, exactly. I always wonder if it's the Holy Spirit telling me that I need to pray for someone. It was a great time in prayer for one of the guys, regardless.

I'm not sure what has been different about this past couple of weeks, but I think the biggest thing I've finally realized... again. I think deep, DEEP down I knew it but I had lost sight of it and just needed to remember.

At camp we tell our campers that they need Jesus. Because they're sinners. And that the only way to God is through Him. And that when we accept Him as Savior, we have a relationship with Jesus, the Holy Spirit is in us, and there is no longer separation from God.

And that's true.

But what I think I lost sight of, so to speak, is that even when we accept Him, we NEVER stop needing that relationship. Just like we never stop needing air as long as we're alive. It's so simple, but so crucial.

I needed Jesus the day I wanted to accept Him. And I need Him just as much NOW.

No, it's not technically new. But at the same time, it really is revolutionary.

Currently Clouds Are Forming The Glory of God see related

Friday, 30 October 2009

Camp, Friends, Circumstances, and Church Music (Not the new DC*B CD)

I've been thinking a bit recently about my friends from camp. Imagine that.

Mike said that we shouldn't overvalue the camp experience or the people. I tried to figure out what that meant while at the same time teach it to campers who have the exact same thing happen (one of my high school guys called it a "Jesus jolt," which I think REALLY accurately describes it-thanks Darin). This time around, I wasn't overwhelmed with this sense of sadness when I had to leave or goodbyes. Although I'm excited for both Fall Retreat and for Staff Reunion, it's different than in 2008. Maybe it's starting to sink in that it's not all in the community and that we have to take joy in whatever place or circumstance we are. That said, I will still be thrilled to see my friends again because I sure have missed them and cannot wait to see them again (even the Apostle Paul missed his friends!). And it's great to have some of them here in Ludington. Nate and Korey are a scream.

Life here is a bit different. Yeah, sometimes I wish I wasn't. After starting to pick up work again, I realize I want to be teaching music in my OWN classroom... or doing my own thing on a regular basis. I've talked to Nate a little bit about this, and maybe I need to be open to other possibilities. As busy as I've gotten with music at church while I'm on my time between college and trying to find a job, I've learned HOW to be a better musician among a worship team.

Because honestly, I STILL stunk at it. I had a terrible attitude. I had terrible musicianship. I just plain stunk at it. (So much for thinking I had everything figured out by the end of college...)

And I'm nothing spectacular by any means, but I think I'm starting to grasp how to do it a little better and it's starting to get more fun now that we're putting it into practice. I'm on a worship team mini-hiatus for three straight weeks, which feels strange after being at it for going on close to three solid months with a break every six weeks or so. But one of things Road 423 said was that if you're going to be part of a worship team, you have to be part of the congregation and able to worship there just as well. And that sounds nice. I DO love to play and to sing. But some rest and a chance to enjoy it in church (or up at camp) sounds awesome.

And did I mention I want to learn acoustic guitar?

Currently Strong Tower (Deluxe Edition) By Kutless Better Is One Day see related

Friday, 23 October 2009

I love you, Tsinge Tsinge

I just wanted to tell her I love her, and I got my wish.

But I still didn't feel ready when the time came.

I know we made the right decision in the end, because my cat's pain will never completely go away.

But it's still hard. And I'll miss my little furry friend a lot.

I love you, Tsinge Tsinge.

Friday, 23 October 2009

I hope I loved her enough

It's after 2 in the morning and I'm nowhere near ready to sleep. And I feel like I'm doing Tsinge Tsinge a terrible injustice by not having her here in our house, even though I know she'd be absolutely miserable here. But keeping her at the animal hospital in the kitty equivalent of a hospital bed seems sad.

I wish I could hug Tsinge Tsinge right now. Even just one more great big hug. And tell her how glad I am that she's been my friend and that we grew up together. It makes me realize that I should be thankful God gave her to us for 16 and a half years to love.

Through my years at Foster School. Through the madness of my two years at OJ DeJonge Jr. High School, when everyone was "stupid" and I was at my LOUDEST. Through four years of life at Ludington High School when I managed to run myself into the ground and away from my friends, and getting Daisy May. And even though I was away for a good part of this, four years at Hope College and getting Mavis too. Tsinge Tsinge and I have been through a lot together.

I hope I loved her enough. Because she's been my friend and I will miss her so much.

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Blog Archives

So I was looking through this thing recently and it's so interesting to see how my blogging style has changed over time. Some entries make me smile and others, well, let's just say I'd rather not associate with them quite so much. I did find my old quote collections from my time in college and when you read those after 2 A.M., they're even funnier.

In other news of the unimportant, last night pretty much rocked. John Woo outdid himself when he made Red Cliff and all the heroism, manliness, and the like. 4:45 of awesomeness, and Jack, Jordan, and I could barely hold it in.

Friday, 16 October 2009

I'm STILL a Choir Conductor at Heart...

It's kind of discouraging to not be teaching right now. This time of year, I'd love to be working towards choir concerts and the like. Watching the Purdue Varsity Glee Club (it's so strange to hear that Purdue doesn't have ANY sort of school of music at all) brought back memories of Chapel Choir... tour... and singing. Oh gosh how I'd love to be in the midst of the fall rush with Chapel Choir and Collegium Musicum. It's Fall Break this weekend for a lot of universities and I'd be making a mad dash either for home or with friends. I still need to visit the crew in Grand Rapids. Time to make a road trip with N-Sto, I guess.

But I'm realizing that God, in His wisdom that is infinitely greater than mine, doesn't want me to be at university or teaching right now. I've dreamed of teaching choir for a while... and then strayed away from that for almost a year between other things, discouragement, and the like.

But I keep coming back. And back. And back again. I still can't get the image of myself as a choral conductor out of my head. As much as I have enjoyed the other things I do, at camp, at church with the youth group, at church with the worship team... I want to do something with choirs again. I miss it.

In the meantime, aagh. I press on. I've been doing a little teaching at the piano and I need to get some publicity up for teaching voice lessons HERE, though I'm still a little unsure how to do it on the cheap (NO, I'm not posting classifieds). I still need to meet with the folks at the Cartier Mansion - it sounds like such an awesome gig and now that I'm prepping for a wedding, I should have more music ready for evening entertainment soon.

Stuff with the worship team is going in an exciting direction recently, too. I love how it's progressed and I hope we continue doing so. Now that we're putting into practice some of the ideas that we learned at the workshop, I'm seeing some more obvious progress. It's great!

Monday, 12 October 2009

A Little Good News

So yesterday at church, the youth group served up a quite nice spaghetti lunch for the congregation right after the morning service. I was really impressed with the spread and we raised some cash to lower the cost for getting our kids to fall and winter retreats, which is a good thing. And as usual, the kitchen was chaotic with trying to get the stoves heated up with boiling water. If anyone has some extra money just laying around that they'd be willing to donate towards some new stoves in the kitchen at our church, that'd be great.

And cider presses are sehr tasty. We're loving the fresh cider here at home. And it's awesome coming from a real glass growler.

Oh, and I'm playing another wedding in November for two of my good friends. Congrats, Nate and Caitlin. I can't wait for you guys!

Sunday, 11 October 2009

Whoa, I never talked about CAMP from this summer? UNTHINKABLE!

So I never posted what I noticed at camp or gleaned from another summer at Center Lake. Life as a return staffer is so different, what with knowing life as a staffer. But it never fails to throw surprises at you. First, a brief synopsis. It's a bit like the one in my e-mail.

Week 1... Junior High Camp in Mackinaw. Pastor Ryan Huebner, speaker.
Week 1 was exciting and also a bit nerve-wracking for me as a counselor, as well as three other guys and two girls. None of us had ever counseled without a co-counselor or a CIT or up at High Point, and we were all assigned junior high campers that week up at High Point. But we went on the adventure knowing that God would guide us through it somehow and worked together to make it fun week. Even though I had a rougher tentful of guys in Mackinaw tent, and I was exhausted by the end of the week, one of my boys got saved, which was definitely a highlight of that week.

Week 2... Junior Camp with Nate in Beaver. Pastor Tom Bradley, speaker.
Week 2 was a long-distance move between cabins; after a visit from two great friends over the weekend, I moved way back into main camp to Beaver cabin and transitioned to counseling junior campers with Nate, another counselor (one of my friends from my home church in Ludington!). Even though the week was HOT and the boys felt overheated at times, they did great. A couple kids rededicated their lives to Christ during this week as well, which was exciting!

Week 3... Junior/Junior High Ranch Camp in Buffalo. Pastor Ken Nichols, speaker.
Week 3 meant another long-distance move for me, as well as counseling alone. After a week by myself at High Point, though, I was ready to work at Ranch camp! The biggest obstacle this week had was what week 2 WASN'T-cold and rainy, literally all week. The kids looked like a bunch of bananas in their yellow ponchos on the horses when they were in the riding arena. I only had 5 campers, which made finding them/keeping them together a lot simpler as a counselor. Looking back, even though the week had some ups and downs, I think my boys in Buffalo tent had a positive week at Ranch Camp and learned a lot of what it means to live for Jesus.

Week 4... Senior High Camp with Casey in Woodchuck. Pastor Stephen Cottle (and Doug Olson), speaker.
Week 4 was a completely new experience and yet another long-distance move. I packed up all my things from Ranch just as the rain stopped and the sun came out, finished counseling my smallest cabin ever, and moved way back into the rear of main camp into Woodchuck cabin and prepared for a completely full cabin of 14 high school guys (which is a tight squeeze when you're all pretty much adult size like we were), along with my friend Casey, with whom I had counseled my very first week of counseling ever back in 2008. This in particular, Casey and I were able to hold some deeper Bible studies with these guys and have some truly deep conversations with them about what THEY wanted to discuss, in the whole-cabin and smaller group settings, as well as individually. A lot of campers from this week either re-gave their lives to Christ or made first-time decisions to live for Him, which excited us all greatly.

Week 5... Junior Camp with Austin in Badger. Pastor Troy Gentz, speaker.
Week 5 meant switching gears completely. One of my high school campers was an SMT who became my CIT, but thankfully Austin and I made the switch pretty seamlessly. This cabin of 13 boys (later 12 after one left midway through the week) was a real challenge in terms of management and patience for the two of us. Every night after the kids had gone to bed, Austin and I would step outside the cabin to pray together for them and each other, as well as the rest of the camp and we constantly prayed for patience throughout the week. Neither of us lost patience with the cabin, although in praying for patience, God answered that prayer in a bit different way by TEACHING us about patience. I was completely spent from the week and running completely on the trust that the Holy Spirit would carry me through the end (because I had no strength left). What's even better, at least 3/4 of our cabin told Austin or me that they had either accepted Christ for the first time or rededicated their lives to Him.

I learned more this summer. First off, I think I know what age groups I WANT to teach in school, which is a good thing to know when I'm out there putting in job applications to get a *GASP real, grown-up job.

Second, after my time at camp, I realized that pride isn't a dead issue in my life. I talked about it my testimony to campers, but it's not all sewn up, and I still need help from the Holy Spirit to deal with it.

Thirdly, I wasn't fair with some campers. It's easy when you're either a brand new staffer or know nothing about your campers to give them the benefit of the doubt. However... when you have

1. That SAME camper from last year that made life a NIGHTMARE
2. That camper that isn't BAD but can drive you crazy and has THAT reputation, even if you don't really know him
3. That camper comes from THAT church?!
   

It's easy to cast judgment before even seeing the guys. I wasn't fair to some of them. Regardless if that same camper that DID make your life a nightmare does come back, what's not to say that God worked in his heart and changed him in the past year? I've tried to and still try to do that now. I needed to let others have that same chance, though it DOESN'T mean being naïve.

I also had a camper that commanded a certain reputation. One of the staffers saw one of my rosters one weeks and asked me, "Hey Tyler, how do you feel about having -name of camper- in your cabin?" and admittedly, I was apprehensive. Not only was my pre-conceived judgment way off-target, he ended up being probably one of my favorite campers I've had so far. Despite the bravado he exhibited most of the time, which I saw coming, I saw a different side to my camper that I should have been open to: a real, honest thirst for knowing God and a desire to grow closer to Him.

Finally, I had God teaching me again just a week later when I had a whole cabin populated by one church's children. I was incredibly nervous about this because I knew how some of the children from this church had behaved LAST year while I, dodging the bullet, got to hide out at Ranch Camp with slightly-less rambunctious children. Not so this time, and I took my turn. While Austin and I definitely did have some truly difficult cases, some of these boys were good kids. It just goes to show that every kid is different and you have to treat a person as an individual rather than lumping them into a collective. "You're from WHERE? Oh great." "You're from THAT family? There goes the neighborhood." "You go to WHAT school? Say no more!"

So that's what I've gleaned, in a nutshell. Among the staff, especially Mike to the SMTs, we talked about clinging being joyful in any circumstance and holding fast to what's taught at camp rather than the experience, and I tried to make that clear to my campers, too. One of them said he didn't want it to be a "Jesus jolt" and that's a good way to put it.

I miss camp.

I miss my friends there.

And I can't wait to see them again. But I'm okay. Because I am off the chain, and I am free.

Currently Speaking Louder Than Before (Special Edition) By Jeremy Camp Slow Down Time see related

Friday, 09 October 2009

American Idolatry

So WHY did the Alfred Nobel Foundation award the Prize for Peace to President Obama?

1. We're STILL at war on two major fronts.
2. We're STILL arguing about a healthcare plan that many people have serious doubts.
3. It's the same story it's always been in Israel.
4. No major education reform to undo the damage of NCLB.

* Awarding someone a Nobel prize in expectation of what someone WILL do, as Archbishop Tutu said about Obama, doesn't count in my estimation.

Sorry folks, I don't think he's worthy.

Thursday, 08 October 2009

What's Come Over Our Schools?

So at dinner tonight, I heard about one of my friends who has a teaching job down in Indiana. As I heard how she's doing, I wanted to throw my fork in the wall (and visualize it sticking to the stud and vibrating like in the movies).

My poor friend graduated from Bethel College with a major in Elementary Education and probably had high hopes for her own classroom and dreamed of all kinds amazing things she'd do once she was on her own as a teacher. Instead, she's scrambling to write curriculum while her students have NO TEXTBOOKS and what, for all practical purposes, sound like bare-bones resources to work with. Meanwhile, she's barely keeping her head above water with lesson planning, correcting papers, quizzes, tests, and the like, managing the classroom, and let's not forget that with being married, she has to be a wife too. Coming home through a half-hour commute from school to my house at 9:30 sounds AWFUL.

"Well, Tyler, surely it gets better with experience in larger districts and when you're a veteran."

WRONG. I was just talking with Dr. Richmond while I was down at Hope College during a visit after seeing Jeremy Camp in concert in GR and deciding to stick around for a short visit with friends. Needless to say, I was dismayed to hear how Mr. De Boer has been treated.

For starters, he's now in the last two schools he can picture himself possibly teach in that he hadn't already worked in the district. I know I find that ridiculous that the district has shuffled its music specialists that much and never let them settle with their resources/establish themselves in their own space. But what really gets my goat is what he has to work with in one school in particular.

My host teacher is a loyal employee. I'm not sure how many years he's worked in Holland, but in his time, he started the elementary choirs, the Ensemble (which has sung for the Detroit Pistons), established a friendly working relationship with the Hope College Department of Music, and there's more. Now, my teacher (who taught ME so much as well as a teacher-in-training) is now forced to work off a small cart in each teacher's room for music class. He doesn't even HAVE a classroom in one school.

I can't imagine how I'd feel. I always had at least a ROOM to work with during field placements and student teaching. If I didn't have a space... what to do? How do you TEACH music when the students can't even move from their seats and do anything besides listen?

I think of my friend's plight and being almost in over her head with planning and my mentor's plight of not even having ample space to work with. As much as I want to start teaching (and I was recently reminded how much happiness it can bring me), those kinds of prospects REALLY frightens me. If all I'm doing is staying up late working on lessons and cramming myself/students into tiny spaces that don't teach much, I'm not sure how much I want to be involved.

Currently MMHMM By Relient K Be My Escape see related

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

The Lifespan of Praise & Worship Music

So recently, I've been working on adding some more stuff to my computer's library of praise & worship music for when I'm helping leading music at church and at camp, too. Needless to say, my archives have grown significantly since I've started keeping and looking for music a bit over a year ago when I started helping lead at InterVarsity at Hope College. I'm kind of proud of myself, but it also frightens me, because like any teacher, especially in the fine arts, I'm an unbelievable pack rat.

When Lifted Voice, the youth praise band at church, leads music on Sunday mornings for the congregation, we tend to mix styles a bit. We definitely tend to lean towards modern and more updated styles, but we usually throw in an old hymn, and often, a throwback song from the early 90s or even earlier. I've been adding those too my library too, because... well, that's what a library is, after all. But it has had me thinking a bit, too.

One of the songs Lifted Voice did probably back in November that I just uncovered in the living room was a song that I remember doing when I was in... 3rd grade? It was new then, but I can tell by praise and worship music standards, it's vintage. I looked it up on YouTube and it definitely sounded like it, too. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. I even went all geeky on myself and listened to another song in the same key from one of the Hope Chapel CDs to just de-tox my ears and my brain, something that I think I'd rather use for a service anyway.

That little analysis, as it were, really made me marvel at how short of a lifespan a praise and worship song really has. The song I listened to after this vintage one was a modernization of an old hymn. One that's several centuries old, actually. Maybe this "step forward," the "progress" in church music, isn't so much progress after all.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

The Imaginary Xanga Post

Dear Xanga,

Today my brothe rwas REALLY STOOPIDD lol. SometimesI really wish my brother would stop being so STOOPID and let me be awesome instead off him being really stupid. He's SOOOO STOOPID. LOL. Wow he's stupid.

Well I gottago. Lololol! Bye.

(My brother has made this allusion in real so many times I thought I'd finally oblige him and make it come to life. So there. In fact, he did it JUST now.)

Sunday, 04 January 2009

Lessons Learned from the Weddings

I've spent a lot of time at weddings in the past three weeks. Recently, I haven't been to that many in a year, let alone a month. But, I guess that's what happens when all of my friends schedule their weddings at almost the same time and I grow slightly afraid that I'll miss one because they're all so close together.

One thing that I always think about a little bit is seeing how the couples have grown together as one to reach the altar, when they either recite their vows (or listen to them from the pastor), and then how they say "I do." I saw three very different moods. Three very different approaches to the wedding that each have merit in their own right and show how each couple has its own personality, sense of style, and approach to life, including marriage.

I really admired how Brandon and Stephanie each wrote their own vows, completely independent of one another. What was so remarkable, though, was how similar they were. These vows were a reflection of how they saw their marriage-my two friends had grown through each other, grown into better people since knowing one another, and they wanted to be better people and better Christians and wanted to have a God-centered marriage. It's clear that they wanted their marriage to be help maybe bring someone closer to Christ. And when the time for them to say, "I do," to take each other as husband and wife, it was incredibly sincere. They meant it. Completely.

Then there was Mark and Becky. I didn't recall specially written vows, so that part sounded a little more familiar. What sticks out in my mind from this wedding is the incredibly joyous approach to marriage. When Pastor Carlson asked Mark if he took Becky to be his wife, he practically shouted, "I DO!!!!" Becky wasn't quite as exuberant with her response to if she took Mark, but to be honest a little hard to top her husband-Mark is one of the happiest guys you'll ever meet. What I admired is Mark and Becky kept a perspective on their wedding day that even though it IS serious... it's a celebration, too! And they were excited. Rightfully so-they got married and were surrounded by all their best friends in their home church. How much better can it get on that their "someday," as Becky called it.

Finally, there was Leo and Angela. I really appreciated the symbolism in this particular wedding of the couple's first act as a couple of kneeling together in prayer together after the pronouncement, even before the husband was told to kiss the bride. It shows, in my opinion, like Brandon and Stephanie's wedding, how I think Leo and Angela want to grow closer to God in the process of growing closer to each other. Pastor Carlson mentioned the lesson from Ecclesiastes about how three threads are not easily and how in marriage, that third thread, in addition to the husband and wife, is God holding them together. That was well-represented by the prayer. I really liked it.

All the best in your new lives together, my friends. I hope everyone who sees you looks at your marriages and sees them as examples of how love should look in a world where too often, love shatters. But I hope everyone sees them as even more than that. I hope your marriages are seen as a symbol of Christ's love for His people.

Saturday, 03 January 2009

A look back at Christmas

I was talking to a friend last night, and even though I said I should go to bed, I had to write about this right then. Sorry Austin. I went to bed right afterwards.

I love Christmas. A lot. I knew or maybe wanted Christmas to be different this year. After the economy turned so toxic, I figured I wouldn't have as many presents. But in a way, I was kind of okay with that. Mom had asked me what I wanted and said, "Make a list! I don't know what to get you." I strained to think off the top of my head what I wanted. I did come up with some stuff, but it was kind of impulsive and a rather short list, honestly. I didn't know what I wanted or what I'd get and even though I like gifts, I didn't care as much this year. I don't remember now if I just prayed to God directly for a different kind of Christmas or what exactly, but I just didn't want just another Christmas like in years past. Could this one be different?

As Christmas got closer, maybe I stopped caring about gifts. I had so much else to think about. I had done some shopping but there was the big community Christmas concert with all the church choirs. Follow the Star. Stephanie and Brandon's wedding. The Christmas Eve Service & the annual Malburg Christmas Eve Party following. This year, Jordan and I were the starring cast members, portraying two angels (Gabriel and his apprentice, Simiel-a name I uncovered that comes from the angelic tradition somewhere; it's the name of an archangel). Following lots of edits and revisions, somehow Jordan and I pulled off the skit on Christmas Eve.

Christmas comes. We had a tasty breakfast and opened stockings. The usual gag gifts, and we were all ready to open the Christmas tree presents when a close friend messaged me that it wasn't such a good day. With her wedding ring thought to be lost and Christmas celebrations all done the day before, her Christmas day was kind of ordinary at best. It sounded kind of sad to me. Sad is no way to celebrate Christmas. I knew Mom and Dad would want to open presents and all and I couldn't just tell them no, but I wanted to help. But how? So I said that she should call us and that we'd see if we could go look for the ring. It had to be somewhere and if it was in the snow, we'd try and find it. And that's what we did.

Christmas presents-I got some nice things which I really do like. I love the new coat especially. But then out Jordan and I went to hunt for this ring in a giant snow pile with Becky and her family. No success, but I wasn't a bit sorry I spent part of my Christmas helping a friend look for something that special to her. And then my friend joined us for dinner, the first non-family member to join us on Christmas. Not bad. A reading of the Christmas story followed by a homemade prime rib dinner with all the fixings. Plus enough pie and homemade cookies till we could pop.

The story, thankfully, has a happy ending. She found her ring in a desk drawer, even though she doesn't remember putting it there. She told all her friends and they were all just as happy as she was when she found it. Just like the parable of the lost coin. All her friends rejoiced with the woman when she found her lost coin.

I think about this story and this Christmas. It was different. I spent it a little differently-with a friend who needed her friends. Even though we didn't find the ring that day, I know now that we were supposed to at least be there for her because... if I was in my friend's place, I'd want someone to come help me, too. Because really... isn't that was Christmas is about? God coming down and being there with us when we needed Him most?

Tuesday, 09 December 2008

Love the Lord Your God with all Your MIND

Lately I've been reading something different. I took a tour through some of Ted Dekker's books for a while to see what they're like (Tom Clancy if written with a Christianized twist) and then read The Promise by Robert Morgan, which examines the possibilities of living life with a Romans 8:28 attitude. I could go on about both, but I'd rather not distract myself, because I do that easily enough when I write online.

Right now I'm reading Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr. It's a collection of sermons that he gave at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church and Ebenezer Baptist Church and after reading just a few of them so far... I'm honestly ashamed didn't do the reading I was assigned from this text while I was in "Models of Christian Spirituality" back at Hope. It's good stuff, and it reminds me of how, even though he's most famous for being a civil rights icon, he was still, at his roots, a pastor.

I'd venture most children in elementary schools learn at least a few things about Martin Luther King, Jr. around his birthday. They learn about how he was an iconic figure in the Civil Rights movement, about how he stood up for the rights of his fellow men and led the March on Washington. And some might know he was a great admirer of Mohandas Gandhi. And of course, it's pretty well known that he was murdered.

But his theology is what the book I'm currently reading centers around, and that's what has me so fascinated right now. Like I said, I've enjoyed reading it so far. One of the things he talked about was the idea that most people in America have little issue with the concept of loving the Lord with all their hearts and souls. And even their strength, though the concept might be a little bit obtuse. But what about the mind?

Dr. King suggested the pursuit of knowledge is a mandate from the Bible itself. Luke 10:27 states, "He [Jesus] answered: ' "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"; and, "Love your neighbor as yourself." ' " That's a clear mandate that, along with our heart and soul, we don't get the option of letting our minds go by the wayside. Simply put... ignorance, or as Martin Luther King, Jr. even more directly put it, stupidity, is not an option for the Christian Church. Paul also said in Romans 10:2 regarding those in opposition to him that, "... they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge." The people who stood in Paul's way that King is citing weren't inherently bad people. Chances are, they were good people. They wanted to serve God. Unfortunately, they lacked the knowledge that Paul had, and therefore, they only hindered the spreading of the Gospel of Christ. To me, that sounds almost worse than purposefully trying to stop the spread of the Gospel. To want to try and help the cause of God's Kingdom and instead, all you are is an impedence. That's enough to make anyone want to just die. Thankfully, Paul's message still spread.

I'm not saying knowledge is everything. It isn't. It's only one piece of how we're supposed to love and serve Christ. But as a body of believers, I sometimes sense that we get so caught up in the heart and soul (the will to serve and Who the service is for) aspect as well as strength (actually going out and doing something) that the mind/thinking aspect gets thrown out. The mind is seen as something reserved for the scholars and other like-minded people who lock themselves high in the ivory tower of academia. "Let them do the thinking! That's way over my head," some may say.

Dr. King would say no, and he offers a good reason why. "The heart can never be right if the head is totally wrong." He didn't mean obtaining a stack of college degrees and thousands of dollars in student loans. Instead, he meant pursuing truth, defending oneself against gullibility, and being open-minded. That's something that anyone can do, regardless of education. More importantly, Dr. King says, when we truly love the Lord our God with all our minds as well as our hearts, souls, and strength, we set ourselves apart from those who stoned His apostles.

Comments(1)

Hello Major General,
You made your site simple yet elegant. I see that God is foremost in your mind as you go about your daily activities. Now is a good time! I recommend the one true God, Jehovah.
I want to help people to really get to know God, especially in these troubled times. Here is an important message for all of us from the Bible: 17 You make God tired with all your talk. "How do we tire him out?" you ask. By saying, "God loves sinners and sin alike. God loves all." And also by saying, "Judgment? God's too nice to judge." (Malachi 2:17) (Message Bible)

the_endof_thisworld

Sunday, 30 November 2008

God, Where ARE You?

It was just one of those tough days. Not a lot has gone right, despite singing okay in my first foray at special music in about a year and a good discussion in the small group tonight at youth group. Sometimes, though, when I say that, maybe now I'm wondering if I'm just fooling myself.

I WANT to make a difference. I want to help the high school students that darken Cornerstone's doors grow in their walk with Christ. I know I'm still learning how to best do it because it's an art and not a science. An art is learned through practice. And in the case of youth group, or camp, or any ministry that God blesses, He provides the increase in His own time.

But like I said, nights like this are tough. Snarky, hurtful comments don't seem to end and a lack of enthusiasm can spread like a cancer. And then it makes it harder for those that are there and want to learn something and to actually grow. It always sows this seed of doubt in my mind: did I do something wrong?

And then... I come home and get more bad news that isn't even worth writing about. And I finally had enough. I couldn't take it. I sat down on the couch, and tried to talk to God about everything. But I couldn't. Instead, I felt as alone as I've ever felt. And I ended up asking, "God, where ARE You?"

But then, I remembered the verse from Romans (8:26, I looked it up later) that said the Holy Spirit will pray what we need FOR US what words cannot express. The Holy Spirit (that's GOD) will pray for us what words cannot express. When I remembered that I started to cry for the first time in recent memory.

I'm still feeling alone, but not AS alone. Because I have the Holy Spirit praying FOR me. And this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for that.

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Reaching Out

So I had a conversation that greatly encouraged me last night. It's one of those types that I have to write about.

One of the cool things about Staff Reunion at Center Lake is the opportunity to meet new people. Even staff that haven't worked there for a season or two will come back and meet all the new staff that came for the first time and are back and positively psyched for their first Staff Reunion. And vice versa. It's where we all re-awaken our inner realization that at Center Lake, we're one big happy family.

I never thought Staff Reunion would make this kind of impact on a person. Usually I think only summer camp in this fashion. But I got tagged in a note by a friend that made me realize that even at Staff Reunion, when we welcome guests with open arms, that can impact people in ways we might never know. It can even refresh a person's spirit and encourage him or her to carry on with his or her spiritual walk with a renewed vigor. All because we at Center Lake said, "Come. You're welcome here." And greeted with open arms (literally).

I found out last night that this friend wants to be an SMT at Center Lake next summer. He's gone from a stranger to someone welcomed by the staff to someone who wants to work there on the Summer Missions Team.

God still works in the hearts of young people. Despite the myriad influences on them today, God is still working on their hearts. I have seen it. Because some people bothered with reaching out during Staff Reunion when they were just excited to see each other.

Monday, 24 November 2008

More Than I Bargained For

The call from Mr. Thomas was kind of out of the blue. He asked if I was willing to play for the MCC H.S. production of Cinderella. I thought for a second of La Cenerentola, that opera by Puccini, until he said it was by Rodgers and Hammerstein. A little more reasonable. I didn't have a lot of time to answer, but I asked for a few details and if I might see the music first.

We'd have a full pit orchestra. Three nights of rehearsal so I'd have some familiarity with the music. Not a lot. Three day performances. One for the high school students, one for the middle school students, and one for the elementary school students. Then the two evening performances. The question is, was I up to the challenge?

And... it WAS tough. This score was an orchestral reduction, which are a trick to play. There are more notes than any pianist, no matter how talented, can actually play. It's simply physically impossible to play all of them. It requires reading a ton of notes, distilling them into something that's playable and still sounds like something that the cast will recognize (since my instrument was amplified into the house as well as the stage) and not make TOO many mistakes. The last part, I'm not too sure about but Mr. Thomas was pleased. Together, the pit orchestra pulled it off.

And by God's grace, the jobs are coming in faster now!

-Elementary school program in Muskegon on December 12
-(Follow the Star on December 13 & 14) - NOT MUSIC
-Lifted Voice leads music at church
-Wedding at Church on January 4
-Ludington Campus Life coffehouse on January 9

I'm almost worried I'm going to start double-booking myself soon...

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Grad Schools... Time to Hunt

I had almost forgotten. But then a Facebook wall rant/exchange or whatever word you'd like to call it reminded me I'd like to look at graduate schools. Because, as much as it warmed my heart to teach children about music... and to see middle school and high schoolers learn to sing well (or at least improve), I'm still thinking about something else.

Dr. Randel planted an idea in my brain that I haven't shaken. "My life isn't THAT much different from when I was in graduate school. I focus more on teaching now, obviously, but I still do my research and go to musicology conferences. And I like it!"

That sounds kind of fun.

The question is... where would I want to go? And the short answer is, I don't know. But the following list is where's I'm thinking, at least at the present.

• Bowling Green State University
• University of Wisconsin - Madison
• University of Kentucky
• University of Georgia
  

If you know anything about these places, I'd love to hear any feedback. And I don't mean that you hate or love their sports team(s). I want real, honest-to-goodness feedback on if you've had a good experience or know someone who did. Or if you or someone you know DIDN'T. And oh yeah... why is a good thing. Because an unsubstantiated claim isn't cool.

This prospect excites me. And scares me. It's not Hope College anymore. And it means going away from Michigan. Cool stuff. And just a little scary.

Update: my brother's looking at graduate school now, too. Ph.D. time for him, just as I'm thinking about my M.M. I've thought University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (where he's considering) and it's a place I've kept in the back of my mind, too. And after talking to my uncle while he visited here, I'm officially considering it now, too. Wouldn't it be weird to go to school with my brother? We haven't really had that since I was in 7th grade... weird.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Prayer Yields Calm, Like a Mighty Wave

Sometimes, I fear that times of trouble are the only times we remember to run to God. We often forget to praise God just for no reason, to be thankful, or to come together as one body just because, well... let's be honest for a second.

When things are going well, we're comfortable. We like that. It's normal. Why should we interrupt ourselves if things go the way we would expect them to? We're God's children. When life goes the way a small child expects it to, he tends to go about his business, spending the day playing or doing whatever things sound fun to him. If the parents factor into that plan, all the better for them, but most normal children just want to do what THEY want. Oftentimes, they tend to only go running to Mom and Dad when something's wrong or they WANT something. Not always, but typically. As children of God, I guess we don't act a lot different. Not to say that we shouldn't at least be mindful of our behavior and TRY and be different. Being mindful of God, acknowledging, praising, and thanking Him even in the good times is something we should do. But when that doesn't happen, it shouldn't surprise us, either.

That said, my church ran into a scenario where we needed God in a not so good time. Crisis can still spur the congregation into rapid action in an instant. And we ran to God because, well, that's all we knew to do in that moment. All activity ceased. Lifted Voice had just finished practicing for Middle School Youth Group. Middle School Youth Group itself was in the midst of its lesson. And there was the evening service as well. A close family friend from church was dealing with a medical crisis that, when we got the info from his wife, we weren't exactly sure WHAT it even was. It sounded like one of those medical stumpers that Dr. House takes on. Needless to say, we were frightened.

"Guys, we have to pray about this. Now!" I was pleased beyond belief to hear this from one of my high schoolers. They wanted to pray for him. So we gathered in and some of my high school crew started praying for this fellow church member right away. Meanwhile, the evening service ground to a halt and they, too, started praying for him. And Bob, downstairs with the middle school kids, was praying for him.

My friend made it through this ordeal just fine. What exactly happened to him we might never know. But in the middle of this medical scare, which baffled the medical personnel at the hospital at the time, his family felt a certain "wave" of peace while they were there. I can't help but think that it's a response to the massive outpouring of prayer coming from the church almost all at once, from the congregation gathered in the sanctuary, the middle school youth downstairs, and the small gathering of high schoolers by the church office.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Lessons on Spirituality... from Igor Stravinsky?

I'm a bona fide geek. I've sang in choirs continuously for going on 11 years except for a two-month hiatus, I earned a degree in vocal music, and I even bothered to keep a membership with the top dog of choral societies: the American Choral Directors' Association (the ACDA). If that's not geeky, I really fail to see what is.

I always get excited when the new issue of the Choral Journal arrives in the mail. Usually there's something pretty sweet in it. One month, there was something about Eric Whitacre, who is becoming the first major icon in choral music from the 21st Century. Another time, there was a feature on Bach, which gets most classical musicians excited. But one issue a couple months ago caught my attention because of something that wasn't actually the focal point of the article. At least, not completely, anyway.

The featured article was about Igor Stravinsky's choral music. The man is most famous for composing ballets and working with Sergei Diaghilev on The Firebird, The Rite of Spring and Petrouchka. He wrote some other stuff, too, but those are the really big ones. He wrote choral music, too! According to the article, because Stravinsky always considered himself Eastern Orthodox, the choral stuff requires a measure of understanding of Eastern Orthodox spirituality, specifically the Russian Orthodox Church.

The article described the Russian Orthodox Church as, "characterized by its cosmic approach to life." This church, rather than focus on the individual, centers around the community of believers. When the person becomes "filled with the Holy Spirit," (the language used by the author) all of life becomes spiritual. To partition life between spiritual and secular, your church life and your life outside of church, is irrelevant. All life is spiritual. The Russian Orthodox take this worldview from theosis, a central doctrine to their church. The basic idea behind theosis is summed up by, "becoming 'god by grace.'" The believer supposedly doesn't lose his sense of self but is joined with God in a union. Russian Orthodox means of theosis are prayer, participation in the church sacraments, and "the Orthodox Christian way of life." Again, it's viewed not individually but as part of a community of believers-something that has become a bit foreign to mostly individualistic Protestants in the West.

As far as Igor Stravinsky's choral music's concerned, the Mass he wrote is of particular interest because the author described it as, "[Roman] Catholic in form, in spirit and in stylistic elements Stravinsky's Mass can be viewed as Orthodox." Igor Stravinsky sought, in his own words, to compose "very cold music, absolutely cold, that will appeal directly to the spirit." So much for the appeal to the emotions and individualistic experiences that are held on a pedestal in the Western traditions. He considered the Credo, the statement of belief, the most important of the movements. The power is in what the text states, not the power of the music or people getting captured by the harmonies or a riveting motive.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to assault Western Christianity with Eastern traditions. Even though we don't have ALL the answers, neither do our Russian comrades. I seriously question the concept of theosis in particular. To say that we BECOME "god by grace" when we become Christians is missing the point. Jesus promised in the Gospel of John (chapter 14-AMAZING chapter) that the Holy Spirit would dwell INSIDE us. Theosis vs. Holy Spirit's indwelling are vastly different. I tend to agree with the latter, though theosis is some interesting food for thought. The Wikipedia article on theosis is quite fascinating.

That said... here's what I think we CAN learn from the Russian Orthodox Church.

• Igor Stravinsky sought to write music that got to the heart of the matter. He didn't want to bother with a Mass that was so grand in scale that it was a concert piece. His music wasn't the worship. It wasn't a show. That's what HAD happened to Masses in Western and Central Europe even as far back as the late 18th Century, and Stravinsky was determined to not let his music be a spectacle. Rightly so. It should never be a show. It is simply ONE ASPECT of worship to the triune God during the church service.
• More importantly, the service itself wasn't compartmentalized from the rest of the congregation's life. There is no "church" life and "rest of the week." Though I doubt the Russians get that perfect, either, I think that's something worthy of keeping in mind.
• Finally, I see the Russian Orthodox tradition reminding us that we don't walk alone. Community is important to them, and we would be wise to hold that in higher esteem than we do in our indivdualistic, "walk my own way" society. Dietrich Bonhoeffer has a few things to say about that, too.

Discuss.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Heart-Wrenching

Very rare do I blog about movies. But this is one of those instances.

I watched Stalingrad with Jordan and Becky earlier, well, "last night." It was made back in 1993, and even more interesting, it attacks the same subject as Saving Private Ryan (the nightmares and ravages of warfare during the second World War) from the perspective of four German soldiers. Oh yeah, and it's all in German and Russian.

The film is brilliant. Steven Spielberg's film was good too, but this teaches the same lessons, but at the same time, shows them from a tragic perspective: when the soldiers are on the losing side, and when they ultimately die in the end. You feel sad for them. It's truly sad that it seems that the Germans were portrayed during World War II as Nazis and nothing but unthinking monsters doing Adolf Hitler's bidding. Surely not all of them were. Stalingrad shows what maybe some of them were like. Not perfect, no. But not monsters either. They became friends together. They had families at home. And they probably wanted to just go back home to Germany and carry on with life, just like the boys in the American forces did, too.

I think what encapsulates the brilliance of this film is in the moments right after one of the main characters, Müller, accidentally shoots his friend from his unit in close combat, mistaking him for a Soviet trooper. He shakes him, crying, "Dieter! Dieter!" begging him to wake up, and then screaming for a fellow German soldier to kill him because he just shot his friend. Later on, Müller starts to cry because of the whole ordeal. Later, I was thinking about how I would feel if I was in his place, having accidentally killed one of my best friends while fighting together as soldiers. And honestly... I can't imagine the pain. It kills me to even imagine it.

Such is the power of good filmmaking. And a powerful reminder of how thankful I am for my friends. And that yes, I love them like my family.

Currently Listening Mighty to Save By Hillsong Live Mighty To Save see related

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Thank you, Hope.

It was good to visit Hope. I needed to visit people. I needed to goof around with Ross. I needed to meet with Dr. Randel. I needed to have her answer some questions for me. I needed to see the campus. I needed to laugh at the shuttle bus. Yes, Hope College now has a bus (for real). I'm still in shock. I needed to take care of some business and have a little closure on some things. And as usual, I needed to have someone be rude to me so the whole thing wouldn't be a bed of thornless roses. And to make the whole experience complete, I needed to get rained on.

But there's definitely a sense of... the place has moved on. Hope College and Holland, Michigan, while they are special to me, aren't my home anymore. Unless I were to move there for a job, or for Western Theological Seminary, or back to Hope for another baccalaureate degree (umm, no?), I know that those places aren't home anymore. It just ISN'T. It's another place, where I marked out a valuable four years of my life and I've now closed the book and opened a new chapter somewhere else.

I think Dr. Randel made it a bit clearer to me where my path lies, though. "Can we talk about graduate school, please?" And the thought that kept sticking in my mind is what she said about what her life is like now. "My life now as a professor isn't all that different. It focuses more now on teaching, but I still do my research when I'm not doing things related to teaching. It's not that different from graduate school."

Music education, while it is something that I will always advocate for, and value, has slowly changed for me. That sounds, more and more, like something that I want. In fact, I think that's probably more what I've always wanted all along. I've wanted to teach at a higher level. And in fact, I think the preparation in the music education program at Hope may come back to be the most helpful thing for teaching if I do in fact want to teach at the collegiate level. I remember ranting about professors who have no teaching ability because they have no idea how teaching works or qualities of a teacher. I know if I want to be a professor, I don't want to be one of them.

The question is now... where to begin? Where would I like to go? What do I want to study? And... how do I reach Dr. Randel's elusive goal that she laid for me: NOT PAYING FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL? Is this the next step? Or does God have something else for me first?

Comments(1)

Just keep following God's lead! sounds like an interesting visit to hope!

Buhcaw

Friday, 03 October 2008

God's Faithfulness Abounds

Sometimes I think I understand why things turn out the way they do.

Other times I don't. I'm still not sure why exactly I'm here in Ludington right now, except suffice to say that I think right now... I'm needed here. There are people here that need me for a little while.

And I need to take care of a few things. It may not be always easy, but I'm seeing how remarkably faithful God is. Although right now (especially right now after pulling only my second all-nighter of my lifetime), it's a little harder to see... or to see anything, for that matter. I'm waiting to hit the wall.

Friday, 03 October 2008

A Little Bit of Happiness

I have a Facebook group invite to thank for this. It incited a conversation with Bob and I'm a high school youth leader at church now! What I love is how he's decided to take some initiative and quite simply, without really hurting any feelings, defined some roles that Jim never really told anyone about. I don't hold it against Jim, but I think a lot of people were in the dark and I'm glad that Bob has finally answered the question of, "What role do the kids play in the youth group once they graduate?!" Yay.

*Doing a little happy dance* Shh, I'm not supposed to dance. I'm a registered, casserole-carrying Baptist.

Currently Listening Strong Tower By Kutless Finding Who We Are see related

Wednesday, 01 October 2008

Thoughts On Love

No, not that kind. Something much greater. One of the things that I appreciate when I'm at Hope College or Center Lake Bible Camp is that the gathering of believers in one place often invites deep conversations about anything, but especially theology. I soak that stuff in like a sponge. I realize now that wherever I end up once I'm on my own, teacher or whatever, that's something I'm going to seek.

A bit of Center Lake came to Ludington a little over a week ago, and it was a blessing to spend time around my friends, even if we didn't do all that much. One of the things I've seen in this past summer's SMTs is they're thinking, growing, and seeking to grow in Christ. I witnessed at camp a couple times the types of discussions that ordinarily I would only take on with the likes of the Bible Studs, which impressed me. They weren't afraid of the heftier stuff from the Bible and to take on the bigger questions (example: would God love Satan? Oh, and let's talk about why.) and really sit down and think about something, look at the different viewpoints, argue and debate, maybe not necessarily agree, but just THINK. I still laugh the first time Isaiah and Andrew cornered me with that question when I was on break. I definitely didn't finish my letter to Ross that afternoon, but it was one of the best-spent breaks all summer.

It happened again in Ludington-a real whopper of a discussion, with a conversation that actually spilled over into the biggest Facebook message thread I've ever seen. What is love, in the context of Christanity, God, and Christ?

We stayed up too late, talked too long, and wandered too much between topics, and never seemed to find a definitive answer. So what to do? Isaiah and I have what I call the longest Facebook message exchange. It was grand. For simplicity's sake, I'm not going to even try and delineate who came up with what thoughts. It was definitely between two people firing on all cylinders as they thought this through and it was the second time around after an intense discussion between anywhere from three to six or seven people.

Love is a tough to define. Is it an action? A noun? Both? Something different? Something even more nebulous than that? My initial thoughts were to simply look at Christ because as I was reminded by a professor at Hope, the best example of life and how life is supposed to be lived is Christ. He is, after all, the only example we have of what a sinless life looks like. Adam and Eve would have had that, had they not messed it up. The critical difference is, however, Adam and Eve are not God incarnate. Therefore, there is a different dimension of love embodied in Christ and Adam and Eve, had they still been without sin, still could not have possibly known themselves, simply because they are not God. What also makes their love different is the love they had for one another as husband and wife. As a man, Jesus never had a wife. While He DID embody perfect love, it is fair to say that we saw no examples of Him directly loving a woman how a man loves his wife. The closest thing is the love God has for His people, His Church, the Bride. It's even greater than the love two people have for one another, but again... it's still different. So once again, we're back where we started, to the big question: what is love? The great mystery. O magnum mysterium.

The big argument on the beach was action (verb), commitment (noun), or emotion (something possibly between the two). Love is definitely a guarantee as part of God because who He is, as demonstrated by His forgiveness of sinners, with Christ right in the middle. Forgiveness is an action, but what would drive that? Perhaps emotion, but we also have to remember God's emotions are not the same as human emotions. Human emotions can be incredibly impulsive and blow with the wind (think of the temperamental child and you get the picture). Though we don't have a God who is cold as ice and feels no emotions, He isn't like us, either. His wisdom is infinitely greater than ours, so anything with emotions has to be considered differently, though emotions could be considered to drive God's actions (though understanding them is a challenge in and of itself). See how the combination of God's infinite knowledge and wisdom, combined with the emotions operating on a different level makes things difficult?!

Jesus definitely showed emotions in chasing the moneylenders out of the Temple. God was angry when flooding the world when the people were sinning. Then there's commitment... how would that work? By not abandoning His people? He made that promise more than once, both to the Israelites in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy and by Jesus in Matthew. It's pretty clear, and the commitment is whole-hearted. As the Bible shows us, when the Israelites followed His commands, they were blessed. When they turned away, they also were punished. God's commitment is completely there, and it drives His actions, whether it be blessing or judgment.

That said... it's probably so multi-faceted that trying to peg it with any one term is so unfair that it would never do it justice. That and the Bible pretty much gives us the heads up that since it's an attribute of God, it's likely going to be hard to define. Jesus will be a good clue since he taught us HOW to love, but since He Himself is fully God (indeed), and fully human (you better believe it!), well... but since He IS God, we're back where we started. See?! This is tough! Love, as viewed through the lens of Christ, God, and Christianity, is near impossibly to nail down with a good, clear definition.

Another mystery we'll have to be just merely okay with waiting until Heaven to perhaps have the answer revealed. If we bother to ask God while we're there, that is.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Why HIM? Why ANYONE?

I've been so absent from the blogging world. And it's not like me.

So much has happened recently, even within the past days.

With camp friends coming to visit, I thought it could be the perfect weekend. Em has a birthday, invites Kelly, Dan, & Andrew up for a night of camping at Buttersville. A quick phone call to Nate and me. It's a party! Dan comes up early with his mom, who spends the weekend golfing. Now all we have to do is wait for the out-of-town peeps to arrive. They drive up, and... IS THAT ISAIAH?!

One of the best weekends results. The best part is likely the late night sitting on the beach in "Socratic discussion," asking the deep theological questions with Andrew, Kelly, & Isaiah. Although I think we all felt silly and mainly stupid at varying points, the brain-bending conversation still makes me come back for more. Maybe that's one of the big things I miss about Center Lake and Hope. I wouldn't call it ivory tower necessarily, but it's so engaging to the brain that I could do it all day. What is love? How to define it? Why can sin not be in Heaven (what's the proof? Andrew has some ideas)? Is the soul inherently good? When is it created?

Church at such an early morning. The church part isn't so bad, but 8:30 comes so fast. Sunday School and the morning service carry on pretty much as usual, but finally my friends come crashing through the door of the balcony during the sermon. I stifled a laugh without even turning around. Somehow, I can tell it's them. I finally got to look when I'm sitting at the piano during the last hymn. The thumbs up from Isaiah made me laugh.

Lunch took us to Wendy's, where Danae had to leave early for some unknown reason. Little did we know why, but it would hit us harder than anyone would imagine. We took our friends downtown, for trying on dresses (good move running away, Isaiah), getting the local honey, checking out Todd & Brad Reed's pictures, buying that long-awaited fudge, and finding the chocolate cigars (it's a boy!). Nate & I unfortunately had to say good-bye after this. I was rewarded with a hug amoeba, which I will admit made me happy. I forgot the last time I had experienced one, besides tag-teaming with Jon and other random people on Caleb.

At Lifted Voice practice, my world began to come crashing down. I found out why Danae had left early. She wasn't in trouble, as I thought initially. Poor Lee Drelles. Alive one day, dead because of a car crash the next. Her mom called and told her to come home because of that. I guess I didn't think of it much at the time because I had to focus on practicing right then, but it hit hard later. REALLY HARD.

I didn't know Lee at all. He was a freshman when I was a senior. I was long-gone from Ludington when he graduated. I can offer prayer, condolences to his parents, sister, and brother-in-law, but I guess that's about it.

I guess what bothered me was I found out on Sunday afternoon. Dan, Kelly, Andrew, & Isaiah were all heading home that day. I couldn't help but think of them. Four of my friends. Four GOOD friends. Four friends that, while they could drive me absolutely INSANE at times (and I went ape at just the night before for being too loud), I love them. I thought of their long car ride from Ludington to their homes. Were they going to make it home okay? Where was Lee going when he was in that terrible accident up at Michigan Tech? Was he trying to get back to his home at college? Why HIM? Why ANYONE?

Thankfully, Dan, Kelly, Andrew, & Isaiah made it home just fine. One actually just returned a joke on my Facebook wall a while ago and made me laugh. But I guess I still went to bed that night thinking of them, my other friends from camp, and from Hope, and a lot more thankful for them.

I hope Lee's friends are right that he's in a better place.

Late blog edit: in a conversation with some people at church, one of Lee's teammates who spent a lot of time witnessing to the guys in direct and less direct ways on the swim team at Ludington was sure he was saved. I guess it's some measure of small comfort, even if the wounds are still rather fresh.

Currently Listening Stay By Jeremy Camp I Still Believe see related

Saturday, 26 July 2008

The night my e-mail went crazy.

I used to think that Facebook notifying my e-mail of things was a good thing. Knowing when people commented on photos is a good thing. Knowing when my wall is written on is a good thing. And knowing when people follow my comments is good, too.

What I didn't account for is Trillian. Trillian is the x-factor.

It was July 25, 2008. It was very late at night. I was doing the thing that any high school/college student or recent college graduate might do on a night like this: online chatting. It's normal. Tonight, I was talking to Jon Britton, a friend from camp.

And then it happened. My poor e-mail exploded. It went completely crazy.

11:46 - Kelly Brown makes a comment on one of my photos on the Facebook
11:47 - Alexis Angel tags a photo of me on the Facebook
11:47 - Jon Britton comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:48 - Alexis Angel comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:48 - Jon Britton comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:48 - Jon Britton comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:48 - (I comment on a photo of me on the Facebook)
11:48 - Alexis Angel comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:49 - Alexis Angel comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:49 - (I comment on a photo of me on the Facebook)
11:50 - (I comment on a photo of me on the Facebook)
11:50 - (I comment on a photo of me on the Facebook)
11:51 - Alexis Angel comments on a photo of me on the Facebook
11:52 - Alexis Angel writes on my wall
11:54 - Jon Britton also comments on a note I commented on
11:59 - (I write on Alexis Angel's wall)
12:01 - Alexis Angel writes on my wall

Only Center Lake friends are that talented. Or crazy.

I miss camp.

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Camps are magnets.

At least that's what I discovered at Portage Lake yesterday. I had made a promise to Ross that he would get visited at some point when I had a little time. With Center Lake finished with BGC camps and the majority of the summer staff being sent home, I had a chance to finally make good on that promise.

Plus... I'M BORED!!!! I've discovered that being at camp is a happening place. We do all kinds of stuff ALL THE TIME. I like that a lot. It's a good thing and I miss it. So to go up to another one and see it, plus how they do stuff and visit my friends sounds like fun to me.

So that's exactly what I did. I grabbed a quick shower, decided to take a chance with my CLBC staff shirt, grabbed a pair of swimming shorts and a towel (always be ready when you're at camp), and made the drive to Onekama. I found the office, introduced myself to Kathy, and she quickly told me that she's the PLCBC version of Penny. I laughed and asked if Ross was around anywhere. To my dismay, she wasn't sure, and I had to go hunting.

I found Chad! Despite his not working at camp, he can't seem to leave Portage Lake alone... so he and his family go there now for Family Camp, which is pretty much the coolest thing. So I was happy to see him-a Bible Stud! Huzzah!

And I found Ashley! I haven't seen Ashley in a long time either... which made me incredibly happy, plus comparing notes on camp was fun. And I got a free lunch out of the deal. Seems that being a camp counselor makes the kitchen staff a bit more understanding of your plight.

So after sharing lunch... ROSS AND MAREN!!!! How do I get greeted? "Wow, you're shaggy." And bear hugs. I guess sometimes I forget that I've been letting my hair grow since February when I last cut it for student teaching. It's a little scary to have longer hair than Ross, honestly. But I take it as a point of pride.

It couldn't have been a better day. I got to see a bit more of PLCBC this time around, help Ross plan the music set for evening chapel, taught him the bridge to "The Happy Song" like we do it at CLBC, hang down at the waterfront, tell Ross he was abusing the "Ultimate Power" (as they call the bullhorn), and then enjoy some freshly-caught salmon dinner at Maren's cottage with Ross, Maren, Laura, & Tyler. Pretty much amazing. Then back to the camp for chapel, then a little time to pray with Ross, and I'm on my way.

Yeah, I needed to see my friends. I got to see them, and it was at CAMP! What more could I ask for?

Currently Listening Let the Praises Ring: The Best Worship Songs of Lincoln Brewster By Lincoln Brewster Everlasting God see related