Sunday, 04 November 2007

How do you react?

I got a phone call from Mom and Dad today. One of the hardest I've heard in a long time.

Pastor Lew is leaving Cornerstone. I couldn't believe it. But I guess I could, and I have to-no choice on that one.

No, there are no hard feelings towards the church. I can't be angry. I just can't. Lakeside Baptist Church in Muskegon has badly needed a pastor. A pastor of any sorts. Pastor Lew can fulfill that need. How could I possibly be upset with that community of believers or "my" pastor? We will still have two pastors on staff. Pastor Lew can help them flourish. Isn't that a greater cause than Cornerstone having a third pastor who specializes in music and fills in when Pastor Carlson isn't available to preach? Likely, especially if he is so called.

I think I know why I'm taking it hard. He's been a mentor to me. It's not that Pastor Carlson or Pastor Schultz haven't. I'm grateful for everyone that has helped me along the way, but Pastor Lew has especially been helpful in guiding me in walk spiritually and as a musician, which as I've found in Senior Sem are unbelievably intertwined. Being forcefully (and rapidly) separated from that relationship is going to be hard. But there's more. The self-serving musician I had become in high school spilled over into every arena where I was singing or playing, including church. I didn't deserve to sing on the stage after I finally graduated and left home, yet Pastor Lew still let me when I'd come back. He was forgiving. I had another chance to make music with my Brothers and Sisters in Christ up at home and it meant so much.

I'm hoping the stuff Ross and I are planning goes well on Ingathering Sunday, but I'm realizing that I'm singing on Thanksgiving Sunday, which is Pastor Lew's final Sunday at Cornerstone. I pray that can be a blessing for him. He and his family have been such a blessing to me as I've grown up spiritually, lost my way, and let me come back anyway.

I don't feel bad shedding tears, as long as they're not angry ones.

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