Belize: I'm in WAY Over My Head

As I bring myself back to writing again, I can't help but marvel at the adventure that lies before and,

1. How God has brought me to this place over the past three months, and
2. How He even provided for me to go. I don't understand a lot of this but... here I am!

Leaving on a missions trip, much less to a foreign country (Belize!) still doesn't feel quite real. In some ways, I'm excited and ready! I can't wait to go with these students, share the joy with them in serving others, and grow together in a way that only unique opportunities like a missions trip affords (and as they've rightfully said, find ways to take that heart back home with them). Plus... traveling is fun and these kids are awesome! Some of my favorite memories from pretty much ever were show choir trips, Chapel Choir tours, and the big family trips to Europe. Travel is hard to beat when it comes to having a blast and making memories. And I believe God is going to do something good on this trip.

Like I said, in some ways, I feel ready! I'm excited...

But... in other ways, I don't feel ready or qualified in the least. Why me? Why am I one of the leaders on this trip? I've had this sense that I'm *NOT* the right person. "Someone else! Let them go with the kids! Anyone but me!" I've had this sense of inadequacy that hit me last week and in some sense, I haven't known what to make of it, and in other ways, I think I know exactly why I have it.

So what do I see or hope for? That despite not feeling ready, the butterflies, and not feeling up to the challenge, I will hold fast to Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Paul accomplished much while serving, despite the "thorn in his flesh" he had, his own sense of inadequacy, and pleas to God to remove. I hope and pray that through it all... I will go forth courageously, be a blessing both to and with my kids and to the Belizean people as we serve together and that we can all grow together in Christ.

I cannot wait.