Wednesday, 25 January 2006

The battle for Snow & Wichers is over... the battle for Nykerk has begun.

A Xanga with which I am familiar (codename = "sean_ramirez") described a sequence of several horrific days in the hallowed halls of Nykerk. Below is the entry for those who do not routinely read its original source.

"An Excerpt From a Soldier's Diary During The Battle of Nykerk:

January 23rd, 2006.

It's been nearly three days since the bluecoats first launched their invasion of Nykerk. They struck first at Snow, where our men offered little resistance. I myself was forced out of a drum practice room in the retreat. We fought as hard as we could, but we were outnumbered twenty to one, and by day's end they had taken Wichers as well. They have pressed steadily on since then, our men taking ground during the day, only to lose it at dusk. Like orcs, they re-energize when the sun disappears. Today by nightfall, they had taken the lounge and several practice rooms. We were forced to retreat to the second floor, but already, small detachments have been sighted roaming the second floor. We've dug deep trenches. Even now I can smell the stench of their perfume, the cackles of their freshmen gruntlings. How my soul quakes at the thought of death. Every day they draw nearer, every day they take more ground. I haven't seen Chris Turbessi in several hours; I can only hope he escaped the last offensive. And Sam? Is Sam still alive? Only God knows. How long must this war go on? How long must sorority life infest Nykerk?

I can't wait 'til rush is over."

The Major General Music has more to add to these chronicles.

January 25th, 2006.

Chris Turbessi & Sam Adams are indeed both alive and safely out of the sororities' clutches. The sororities held them into the early hours of the morning of the 24th, hoping to gain control over Nykerk and the Department of Music by holding the two beloved pianists hostage. However, their hopes were dashed, for someone managed to sound the alarm inside the library of music, hoping help would arrive.

Help indeed did arrive, in the form of seven musicians, arrayed in gray and rose raiment. Their leader wielded a deadly flute and a piano. Her first lieutenant also armed herself with a flute & her second lieutenant was armed with both a bass trombone and a piano. The expert of the arcane secrets of past ages was a mezzo-soprano, and the one who holds all knowledge of providing for the brigade carried a clarinet. The one who speaks musical events into existence and quietly protects the building was a tenor and carried a piano. Their spiritual counselor also was a tenor and carried a piano with him. Lastly, the brigade's sensei took on the appearance of a bunny and knew how to harness the power of the mystical pipe organ as well as the piano.

The terrified bluecoats were thrown into chaos as the alpha chi chapter of Delta Omicron, guardians of Nykerk, came to rescue their missing brethren. A few random high-heeled shoes were the only signs of their presence as the confused sororities fled Nykerk from every entrance, fearing the wrath of the musical guardians. Following the reclaiming of Nykerk, the mighty musicians discovered poor Chris and Sam held in the dark, secret chamber above Snow Auditorium, unconscious from the sororities' cruel tortures. The soldiers did some quick thinking and began to play a piece that would gently awaken them and proclaim that their torment is over: Edvard Grieg's "Morning" from Peer Gynt Suite No. 1.

However, the Delta Omicron members realize this is only the beginning. They must continue to defend the hallowed halls of Nykerk against the marauding sororities and fraternities who seek to gain dominance. They will never prevail!

(Disclaimer: if you're a member of Greek Life at Hope, this is NOT a slam. It is too ridiculous to be realistic and there's no way this should offend you.)

Comments(2)

I have almost nothing to say. Very odd I know but I'll try to ammend the situation by rambling a little here about nothing in particular. Maybe I can think of something that would be related in some small way... hmm... well anyway I'm glad that I don't have to deal with rush people.

chickenlittle27

I am also glad I don't have to deal with rush people

chickenlittle27