Thursday, 31 March 2005

My Xanga Premium just expired... oh yay...

It seems school has become a far more dangerous place than anyone has ever known or imagined it would. I'm not talking about all those scary school shootings that make national headlines, although those have made it a dangerous place at certain times. No, this is based on information taken from a college student in Allendale, Michigan, whose identity is being protected. We'll call her "Becky."

Becky has been nearly killed several times this year during her classes and it does not appear that she can take much more punishment like this. Among other things mentioned to me previously by Becky, she has been:

-nearly killed softly with notions (refer back to previous blog about notions)

-nearly killed softly with PowerPoint (Microsoft's presentation program is far more volatile than any of us ever realized)

-nearly lectured to death (refer to the Angela's blog for more about death by lecturcide)

Becky continues to face notions and boring lectures on a weekly basis this semester and the academic year at her university doesn't end for several more weeks. While the Angela claims that she has rarely ever heard of someone actually dying from lecturcide (typically the victim will pass out before actually dying from the boring lecture), previous studies have concluded Becky has not built up enough immunity to survive another bombardment of notions and boring lectures. Her latest statement, "Excessive boobiness is not allowed on the promenade," is evidence that all this toxic academic material is affecting her brain. If someone doesn't get Becky some serious help, she may not live more than several days and her chances of getting killed softly (or maimed) by notions are increasing exponentially every class session. The only that can save her is a pair of nice shoes to provide a distraction and a shield!

Comments(2)

I regret to imform you that the nice shoes have been absent from class all week. Maybe that is why my classes have been going along so poorly. I am about to go back into the battle zone, also known as night class. Yes, this is the place where the notion of "notion" first began to invade this notion of my acedemic life. There is this notion of bordom in this class, as well as a notion of pointlessness.

dorothygale27

Shoes are hardly a distraction from such dire things as death. Besides it is getting warm again who needs shoes in the summer?

chickenlittle27