Thursday, 19 May 2005

Major General Music & Lawn Care: the series continues...

In our last adventure, the Major General Music was forced into indentured servitude by his father, citing a bad back. This first job required the Major General Music to use a de-thatching machine named "Blue Bird" (no relation to the Becky's car). The Major General Music declared that it was a Blue Bird only in brand name and deserved a nickname such as "Mean Blue Monster." He later made clear to the employees at Tye-One-J that he had to use a beating stick to get the wretched machine to do what he wanted it to do.

In our second major event in the triplet sequence before regular watering and mowing may commence, the Major General Music was forced to aerate the lawn using an appropriately-labeled machine name "Gorilla."

When renting the Big Yellow Monster, the owner's friendly dog greeted the Major General Music and fatherly figure Codename="SLAVE_DRIVER." Intelligence analyses suggest the dog was amiable thanks to the Major General Music's two barks in return for the dog's two initial barks.

Before taking the Big Yellow Monster to the home base, the Major General Music sauntered up to the Mean Blue Monster, barked at it, and reminded it of its subjugation at the hands of the thrashing stick. Nothing more than a metal bumblebee box with a gasoline engine, a triplet crankshaft with pistons, and four wheels with a handle and throttle, this smelly yellow creature required the Major General Music's full attention and strength to retain control. The Mean Blue Monster's big brother required reinforcements from the Major General Music's aresnal to stay in its place. To keep the Big Yellow Monster in its place, the Major General Music was forced to use his economy-size beating stick, the rarely-used industrial-strength, ultra-rude thrashing stick, and some severe barking, which incited a neighborhood barkfest of any dog within hearing range. In the end, the Major General Music was victorious and finished the unpleasant job with plenty of time to spare, although the poor lawn sustained a few ugly wounds along the way.

Comments(4)

Glad to hear you are getting both milage and results from barking. I did my fair share of barking today. Buddy and I had quite a discussion in the store at the resort. Your lawn receives the most complete care I've every heard of. Our lawn often is mowed well after the point where it is considered shaggy and the most we do for it beyond that is to pick up the big sticks so the mower doesn't break. One would think that surely you would be done after all of this torture but it seems there is more? You next must lime it? What a life. Are your thumbs turning green?
Yesterday my Brother came into the store at the resort and he had green toes! Although, I'm not sure what it means if you have a green toe.

chickenlittle27

Ah, green toes! That phenomenon is quite simple to explain. Ordinarily, plants are green above the surface and the root system is often a shade of brown or other comparable shade of whatever. If you grow plants like these with skill, that means you have a green thumb or two green thumbs if you're REALLY skilled. If you have green toes, it would stand to reason that you can skillfully grow plants upside down! The pretty green part grows into the ground and nice bushy roots come out the top! Green toes are much more rare than green thumbs. Can your brother grow plants upside down?

Major_General_Music

Hmm Not that I know of but I heard that tomatos can be grown upside down quite successfully. I've seen it done but haven't tried it yet. No I think that the simple reason for green toes is probably using a pushmower and having barefeet. Not the safest combo but it is refreshing on the toes in the summer time.

chickenlittle27

Hahahahahaha! Codename = Slave Driver! Nothing, besides my pretty little car which is now fixed, should carry the name "blue bird."

dorothygale27