Thursday, 17 August 2006

Headlines Return!

At this point, there's a bunch of Xanga fodder worthy of writing about, so the Major General Music will keep it brief and re-employ a style that worked so well before. Presenting the Major General Music's life in headlines!

-Mowing resort leaves one dead: The Major General Music recently mowed the entire resort with nothing but an industrial weedwhacker and an average push lawnmower. The job took over three workdays, many dollars in gasoline and motor oil, and one death. The lawnmower went into a coma for approximately 20 mins. on day 3, but the weedwhacker was not so fortunate. On day 4, the Major General Music finished mowing after running over an underground nest and being stung by two yellow jackets. He also committed third-degree weedwhackerslaughter. The scene of the crime was by the pontoon boats and the lawn tool let out a great roar before passing on. As of press time, the boss figure is making attempts to resurrect the gas-powered instrument of weed death.

-Canoe trip results in only one loss, packs of drunken tourists: Whilst the New Jersey family visited, the Major General Music took a four-hour canoe trip with his three cousins and the Tall Uncle. Despite the Major General Music nearly capsizing in canoe with cousin=Reid and cousin=Luke, the only victim of falling in was the Tall Uncle. Unfortunately, the Major General Music's knees were wounded by the blazing sun. Several packs of drunken college students were discovered chasing empty beer cans and Nalgene bottles filled with alcoholic beverages. Another group of navigationally-challenged foreign tourists were also encountered in a group of fallen logs, speaking in a language that was not English.

-College (or poverty) increases imagination: While visiting the beach, the Major General Music and cousin=Luke played baseball on the beach, including one hit that flattened the Major General Music while he was pitching. The catch was the only playing instrument used was a stick-the ball and bases were all imaginary. The two people were observed playing this game for close to 20 minutes.