Monday, 06 February 2006

Ping-pong with Pachelbel!

A conversation late last night with Steven along with one of his recent Xanga entries inspired me to write this post. Which composers would play ping-pong?

Johann Sebastian Bach wouldn't play ping-pong. His powdered wig's too heavy to let him take any swift shots at those wild serves. Instead, his children would stick ping-pong balls in the organ pipes at church and then they'd fly out during the services when their father sat down to play in Leipzig.

Samuel Barber couldn't see well enough to get into the front lines during WWII; do you think he'd be good at ping-pong?

Ludwig van Beethoven would play ping-pong. He'd probably be respectable at it, although I'm guessing he probably would go through a LOT of ping-pong balls with all those kills, considering how much he wounded pianos. Sadly, he'd never know why the game is called "ping-pong" for reasons having to do with his aural difficulties.

Aaron Copland was probably a casual ping-pong player. But he'd look totally ridiculous playing ping-pong with those huge horn-brimmed glasses.

Frederic Chopin wouldn't stand a chance at ping-pong. He didn't have the physical stature or strength to play the piano loudly, much less play sports well.

Claude Debussy would be thinking too much about how to express himself with each swing. He wouldn't even care if he could play ping-pong very well or not. Hmm, is the "ping" or the "pong" more like me?

George Gershwin WOULD be good, but the rhythm of the bouncing ball would be too fascinating. Bad joke, I know... (for all the non-music folks, it's a bad pun based on a Gershwin song called "Fascinating Rhythm")

George Frideric Handel would kick butt at ping-pong. He had a wit similar to Sir Winston Churchill and that tells me he'd know how to destroy his adversaries in ping-pong, despite a heavy powdered wig like Bach's.

Franz Liszt would get owned in ping-pong. He'd be too busy making sure his hair looked good while playing and then the ball would fly past him.

Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy would be the champion ping-pong player. Of the famous composers in history, Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy was the "studliest," having been blessed with brains, brawn, and talent for the fine arts & humanities.. He'd know every trick in the book and be nearly impossible to defeat.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart would be the clownish ping-pong player, yet still win every time. He'd stick his tongue out at you, "fart in your general direction" (to quote Monty Python), and make fun of you when you'd miss shots. But, he'd be a blast to play with anyway.

Johann Pachelbel was probably the dark horse ping-pong player. The only famous piece he wrote was "Canon in D," so once he finished writing that, he could spend time honing his mad skillz in ping-pong. Watch out for Pachelbel, he'll get you when you're not looking.

Obviously there is photographic evidence of Arnold Schoenberg playing ping-pong, but he looks ridiculous too, like Aaron Copland probably would.

Franz Schubert also couldn't see worth beans. But he'd sing you a nice encouraging song while YOU played. Next case.

Robert Schumann was too busy going crazy most of the time (being bipolar and all) to think about ping-pong. And Clara was too busy convincing him not to commit suicide, although she'd be pretty good.

Both Johann Strausses (I and II) would win-the ball has to bounce three times before the other person can reach it by their rules (the waltz is a three-beat dance and they're famous for waltzes... yeah).

Richard Wagner would be too busy thinking up good background music, snappy insults, and an accompanying dance to intimidate his opponents. He'd never remember to hit the ball.

Comments(1)

And tyler? Tyler would not win; he would have many much fun but would be too distracted having a good ol' time of merriment making silly faces and trying to make everyone pose for pictures- even if that was not the case I would distract you!

and Angela?? Angela would win by default- she would argue every shot until her opponent consented- whether due to her powerful abilities to confuse/mis-direct/annoy/outlast or due to the state of insanity in which she drive her opponent the result is the same.

chickenlittle27