Goodnight stories!

I love telling stories. A LOT.

I discovered REALLY FAST in my first year of counseling at Center Lake there's a bit of a learning curve if I wanted to tell from the same collected works that a lot of the core staff dudes and veteran guy counselors used that I had a bit to learn. So I listened intently with my campers, laughed my head off with them, and then began the stories myself in a sort of Dr. Seuss-meets-Monty Python style that I guess is all my own. Or something like that.

ANYWAY. I was talking to my good bro Austin on Facebook about this and that and we both needed to sign off, and well... read on. I already saved it in a note, but felt this is worth saving here too.

Austin: bedtime story?

Tyler: oh, sure...

"so there i was..."

Austin: nope i found yo numba the camp directory

Tyler: "with naught but a bowie knife, and one batmobile in the australian outback"

Austin: eating lamb chops?

Tyler: of course! grilled to perfection with a side of taipan egg omelet (better to eat the snake eggs before they hatch and bite you, of course)

when all of the sudden, i heard the roar of a kraken!

Austin: THE kraken?

:o:o

Tyler: oh yes! THAT kraken!

Austin: timothy~

!

Tyler: krakens being my mortal enemy, and loving a good challenge, i pulled out my ocarina from the batmobile and began to play music... first zelda's lullaby to lull it into a false sense of security (to make it think i don't know what i'm doing and am just pushing random buttons)

then the song of storms to make it rain, and then that guy starts making the windmill spin too fast, which somehow makes the KRAKEN angry

Austin: (when in fact you are)

Tyler: true!

so there we are, ready to do battle

and then the announcer says, "round one... FIGHT!"

so we're off, doing battle!

Austin: japanese or eastern european announcer?

Tyler: this guy's more japanese-ish

i stick my knife in its little sheath and decide to go for amore direct attack

a few jabs and punches

Austin: and a flick behind the ear!

Tyler: the kraken, he wraps a tentacle laced with suction cups around me, squeezes a few times, and somehow that sends me flying until i hit the invisible wall, -KERSMACK!-

so i decide to throw a nice fireball at him, yelling -HADOKEN!- (cue fireball sound effect)

Austin: (for good measure)

Tyler: krakens obviously don't like chi-based fire

Austin: or chi-based currey

Tyler: (that too)

then the kraken goes for the direct move, smacking me a few times with his lobster claw-like thingses (this is one of those dual-type lobster/squid types)

so then i decide my knife needs some action and roll to see if i successfully can ride the kraken!

i roll a natural 001!

success!

Austin: naturally

Tyler: i land on top of the kraken and roll again for a skill test to see if i can slash at one of the biggest tentacles

success (it must be my day!) (i lost track of the number)

Austin: his nameis franky

Tyler: ah! that's right!

so i slash at his tentacle before just stabbing the knife into the tentacle

the kraken franky, he doesn't like that very much

so i jump off with a nice flip, roll the control pad and press punch and execute a nice dragon punch as he goes for another tentacle squeeze

we trade hits and each slam into the invisible walls

Austin: fighter's destiny!

Tyler: with our damage meters nearing empty, it comes down to one final move...

who will win? me, the australian adventurer? or franky the kraken?!

Austin: quick press up, down, up,up,up,up left kick spin punch

!!!

Tyler: funny... my combo meter was at level 3!!!!

Austin: gnarly...

Tyler: and i pushed that and flew across the screen and flew into the wildest hurricane kick that you ever SAW!!!!

and krakens HATE hurricanes

Austin: KATRINAD!!!

Tyler: the kraken spun around and got kicked over and over, spit flying, claws snapping, suction cups making sucking sounds, and teeth breaking

Austin: or DAVID'D!!!!

Tyler: and when the dust settled, all i could see was a little crayfish scuttling next to a puddle of saltwater

Austin: and a jelly bean!

Tyler: i set him in it, resheathed my bowie knife (which had somehow fallen in the sand), ate the jelly bean (which healed my wounds)

Austin: wounds of might!

Tyler: and drove off in my batmobile, which had been refueled, looking for another challenge

Austin: and the sun set as the crayfish died suddenly of massive hemorrhaging!

Tyler: oh yes, i always forget that part

Austin: lol....awesome thanks for the potential dream fuel bro good night!!

Tyler: no prob - have a good night bud

Not too many stories make me laugh when I re-read them, but this one does.