I am grateful.

The weekend at camp wasn't the best I've spent, which still is a little shocking.  I've had bad days at camp but a bumpy weekend is pretty rare for me (though the men's retreat group was a lot of fun with climbing).  It didn't help to leave with a slice to my hand from a razor-sharp can lid right before I had to drive home and having to worry about it bleeding again on the drive home in the dark, either.

Thankfully, Sunday things seemed to pick up.  Our music crew was a little (read: QUITE) anxious about the offertory with Corey and Hadley after things didn't go so hot during our sound check.  I heard things that, musically, displeased me and up to that point, hadn't been happening.  And furthermore, I didn't know why, either.

As it happened, I need not have worried.  The service music went well, the sound levels came together pretty well, and Kenny, Becky, and I were able to play for Corey & Hadley just fine.  More importantly, they were able to sing well and truly minister to not only the congregation but also to their Maker as well.  I've never seen a standing ovation for a church offertory, but it was a little exciting to witness that.  I was honored to be a part of that.

Gretel & Hansel Hansel & Gretel! What a hilariously witty, yet whimsically child-like drama!  Anesa hit a homerun with her dramatic retelling and the casting.  I was dying in my seat laughing watching Kenny lisp through that retainer and Kayela yelling at him the entire time.

And finally, youth group.  Sometimes, I freely admit I have no desire whatsoever to come and Sunday night was one of those nights.  I was worn out from working, I would have liked to kick back, and going all day nonstop on Sunday didn't interest me.  But I went anyway, in part because I said I'd be there, Pastor Jim was teaching, and I knew I needed to be there.

And it was most definitely worth it.  I haven't co-led a small group in a while, but last night I had the high school guys with Jordan and Leo, and discussing what he taught on King Solomon about what really matters in life.  Not only that, when it led to a discussion on some more difficult subject matter involving your life and legacy and how you proceed through this life, it was most encouraging that the guys were willing to step up to the challenge of not simply ignoring a "tough passage" (example: how do you handle tattoos?) when we asked them what to do with it through the lens of the Bible as a whole.

The more I think about it, the more I think working with youth group teaches and encourages me as much as I teach my kids.

I Think We're Even Now

A weekend away from home together for the first time in forever (NO ONE working!).  The Grand Rapids Symphony.  The Return of the King.  And did I mention none of us working?!  How often does that happen anymore? (Answer: it NEVER does.)

Yes, we had it set up pretty much perfectly.  Much to my surprise, my mother had come to enjoy The Lord of the Rings up to that point and was looking forward to seeing the last part on the giant screen in the DeVos Performance Hall with all the musicians performing everything live.

It was a ton of fun.  We met up with a friend (Will) and even brought him home with us.  I saw Sean for like, two seconds.  Mom and Jordan saw him for probably ten times longer.  But the best surprise was seeing some friends that I don't remember seeing for a couple of years - Pastor Leslie & Elissa Lew.  And having seen them... I realized then how much I've missed my pastor, his wife, and fellow friends in music.  And I still miss making awesome music.  Someday I'll do what I once did when the right opportunity strikes.

But what has bothered me so much is what happened while we were talking to our long-missed friends.  A colleague from my days at Hope that I hadn't seen since the day s/he graduated spotted me in the performance hall.  S/he looked exactly the same and apparently I hadn't changed much in looks either.

"Tyler...?"
"Yes?"
"Do you remember me?"
"Yeah, of course I do. -Name-" (not really important, nor helpful; this person IS definitely real but shall remain unnamed)
"I thought I recognized you;  I just wanted to say hi."
"Hey."

And that was it.  My colleague walked through the heavy doors, and... the awkwardness was palpable.  My mother said, "Wow.  That's not like you.  You weren't rude, but that was icy."  My pastor asked what that was about, and I could have sunk into a hole.  Jordan replied with, "Does the term 'nemesis' help put things into perspective?"  We then moved on with the conversation and that was that.

But I couldn't have been more disappointed with myself.  That ISN'T like me.  I'm usually giddy to see people I remember from years ago, be it old friends from high school, people I worked with at camp, friends from Hope, etc.  And I did that.  True story.

Here I am, claiming to be a Christian.  Trying to live how I should, teaching kids at camp and at youth group how to live life and be an example to them myself... and I definitely failed.  Monstrously.

And maybe I was justified to do that in some respects.  As I looked back, nothing I did for this person was ever good enough. All I heard in response was complaints and how "This isn't a personal attack, but... (fill in the blank)" etc.  Nothing was simple.  I never had help or support.  Whining all the time. (personal pet peeve).  An unwarranted sense of self-importance and self-involvement.  Needless to say, I grew to loathe this person and I had no respect (on personal or professional level) for him/her because I felt s/he had forfeited it.  Even standing near him/her in rehearsals was challenging at times.

Whether I was justified in this view or not, it happened.  It's not the most pleasant part of my collegiate career to remember, but one of the rare instances where I flat-out didn't get along with someone, which still evidently bothers me.  I figured I wouldn't see him/her much, if at all after we were both graduated, much to my relief at the time.  Like many things... all this largely faded into the dusty part of my memory, not really resolved, remembered or forgotten.  Just there.

And apparently when the time came to rise to the challenge, under the category of the great question of, "Can or would you love someone that's difficult to love?" or maybe more specifically, "This person wronged you (or at least you THINK and FEEL s/he did) some time ago, and you HAVE to talk to him/her now.  What will you do?"

I failed.

I remember writing in my old blog (my now-defunct Xanga, HA!) about a particular service of The Gathering where Trygve taught on forgiveness and looking really hard at us about what we truly need to let go and where there is still burning anger and resentment.  I think I need to revisit that particular truth because although I may have grasped that truth at least at the time, my grip may be slipping.

I haven't forgiven.  At least not completely.  And when I had a chance to be the kind of man that I should have been, I wasn't.  And I hope I can make things right someday with this person, as hard as that may be.  Because in the meantime...

I think we're even now.  And that's never how it's supposed to be.

I'm a terrible blogger, but here's a shot (again, and does that ever sound familiar) at trying to go at it with some sense of consistency.  I miss writing like I did all the time.

Closing the chapter on selecting a senior pastor for church feels good, even if church is still bleeding for it.  I will admit, there are still things that I am hardly pleased with, though on the whole I think we have a fine pastor on his way with his family.  I look forward to meeting him for real, working with him and learning from him.

Onward to prepping to teaching youth group.  This has been harder than I thought, but the idea of teaching on when you wonder WHERE God is sometimes, and the idea of God feeling distant (and the struggles through that) is something that was and is still relevant to me.  I hope it will meet the kids for youth group well, too.

HOW Do We "Know No Fear," Exactly?

"The wicked flee when no one pursues,
but the righteous are bold as a lion."
Proverbs 28:1 (ESV)

I thought when I finished work at Center Lake over Labor Day that I'd be done and have to figure out... well, everything.

And that sounds scary.

Odd as it is, one of the first things I'm doing for the fall is going back to camp to serve again. And maybe that's exactly what I need to do.

It's no accident that our theme at camp for 2011 was "Know No Fear." I've been more excited by some themes than others and some have made better t-shirt designs than others (still love my sweet Rebel shirt probably the best!) but this one, at least so far, has probably struck the hardest. The final unit Bob gave us for youth group before he left on vacation and eventually getting his new job in South Carolina was on courage. That unit wasn't far ahead of camp and I had to think about all this stuff in my own life with my family all along the way. No, it definitely wasn't an accident that we talked about being unafraid in this utterly mad world.

After coming home, I'll admit I've been frustrated by being completely unsure of what I'm supposed to be doing, not to mention the job thing. And this whole situation with Dad and how he's doing has been hard too and I haven't been doing well living up to what God wants from me. But I keep thinking if I claim to be a follower of Christ, someone who taught campers and worked with staff this summer on this whole theme of being "as bold as a lion," then I definitely need to be living that out myself. Even though it's hard and incredibly frustrating.

I remember telling kids that knowing no fear didn't mean simply denying the existence of what they were afraid because that doesn't work well. Focusing on what and far more importantly, Who (BIG HINT!), they loved. We serve and follow a great God, and should focus on serving Him, and more importantly, LOVING Him. We might be afraid, sure - but the floods cannot drown love, HIS love, and He gives us strength to stand, as Paul writes in Ephesians.

Fill Us with Power! Give Us Your Courage!

As I write my annual camp update, I look back on how this chapter of my life all began and how, four working seasons later now, I can't help but truly marvel how it all unfolded. Had anyone ever told me that I'd be one of the staffers hanging out with the kids and teenagers at camp and getting to be a part of the process where some of them make their relationship with Christ something real (especially the FIRST TIME)... years ago, I couldn't have believed that as a serious possibility. Now, I can't fathom the thought of stopping. I admit I've become a lifer.

I loved growing up in Ludington, but I don't think I had a great appreciation of the outdoors or how God moved in people's lives in His creation that He gave us. It's a sad thing, really. I loved camping as a kid, and being a camper at Center Lake was tons of fun! I enjoyed when I was taken fishing and doing stuff out in the woods. I still tell stories of when Harold took Dad, Jordan, and me fishing and catching a ridiculous number of salmon and steelhead out on the lake and heaving enough fish to satisfy several cats. Ludington State Park is one of my favorite places to this day, I love the beach, and the thought of leaving all these places behind that I've grown up with still breaks my heart.

But working at camp? Really? ME?!

Really. Maybe the whole tumultuous student teaching experience and having the combined awesome/trainwreck placements and having my confidence absolutely smashed into tiny bits wasn't such an accident after all. It wasn't an accident that I saw Duane at church that Sunday in March 2008 I was home on Spring Break resting. And there I was again this, still working with him and the rest of the crew, now on my fourth season, in a new job, with my campers growing up before my very eyes... and what a summer it was!

Staff training
Admittedly, coming to camp was so much harder this time than in previous years. Leaving behind my family, especially my dad in the shape that he was in was incredibly hard. He and Mom both said they wanted me to work at Center Lake and they wanted me to make them proud and to serve there, but it still didn't make the whole leaving easy when Dad's not well. I pulled onto Bible Camp Road the first time and thought to myself, "What on Earth am I doing HERE?!?!"

Regardless, I pressed on and not only got trained as Core Staff (one of the Worship Directors with Casey!), but as a lifeguard this year! I pretty much wanted to die at the end of learning how to be a lifeguard, but I'm not sorry I did it at all. And staff training, as always, was the weird mix of calm/wild bliss before camp begins. Meeting the new staffers, seeing the familiar faces return, catching up with friends, and seeing some of the previous years SMTs coming up into their new positions as counselors made me incredibly proud (and feel a little old too). It was exciting to see some friends come back to camp after they were gone on hiatus (Mike and Amy Johnson were back after three and four years!). Plus, I got some bonding time with my core group (three pretty great guys if I do say so).

I was quite excited with how things came together with the chapel band, though I will admit at the beginning I was quite nervous. The repertoire wasn't coming and I wasn't sure where to look, I wasn't sure how things were looking as far as personnel after talking to people about where they were working this summer, and having only led worship teams a handful of times prior (though I have done it before)... I was just plain nervous about what things would look like, though at the same time, incredibly excited and hopeful.

But I need not have worried, like it says in Matthew 6. Casey and I ended up with a blistering amount of repertoire-something like 25 songs this year, and the team learned ALL of them despite having to clear the chapel TWICE for weddings. We ended up getting exactly who we needed for personnel both on the stage to sing and play as well as our support in the back with the tech crew - where would Casey and I have been if God hadn't sent Jesse, Amy, and Karl this summer and everyone to work with up front? It helped to meet with Pastor Ryan as well as getting some encouragement from him right before camp started to refocus our hearts on WHY we worship as well as WHO we worship (hint: it isn't just music).

Week 1... Pastor Ken Nichols, speaker
This week was a great way to start camp, though admittedly I was probably as nervous as I'd been since starting my very first week of counseling ever. It was my first time working a week of camp as Core Staff! Don had told us during Core Staff training that as staffers who have worked at camp before, we knew what to do, but I asked a lot of questions like, "Hey Mike... what do I do in 'insert situation here'?" It was a good week to learn a lot of the smaller, detailed things like that and to get my feet wet. The whole "school isn't over in a lot of places" definitely took a slice out of camp, but it gave us a real sense of closeness both as a staff at work as well as with the campers.

Week 2... Junior High Camp in Petoskey. Pastor Ryan Huebner, speaker.
Surprise! Back to counseling I went, and up at High Point. And just to make things more interesting, Dakota (one of my core group dudes and former youth group guys from back home) was my neighbor counselor. It was nice to spend a week working with one of my core group guys to help get him more acclimated to counseling alone, though he really didn't need my help and would have been fine anyway (good work bro, you did an awesome job!). As far as raw counseling goes, this group of junior high guys was about as great as you could get - laid back, go where you ask, and the list goes on. That said, the week still was rather difficult for the fact that we had thunderstorms. EVERY DAY. It began to get incredibly difficult to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude for the campers when over half the camp activities were a washout (two attempts out of two for the climbing tower were massive failures and resulted in the joke that I should never belay with Mike Johnson for fear that adverse weather conditions are sure to result).

Regardless of the nonstop bad weather, my guys assured me that they DID have a good week, and the best was an improvised final Bible study Dakota and I made up on the fly. Friday morning Bible studies tend to be a bit of a drag but he and I on the spot had the guys talk Dakota through not only what it means to become a Christian, but what life as one looks like, and why it matters as if Dakota weren't a Christian and were the type of guy who didn't go to church, didn't read the Bible, didn't know about God, or anything like that. It was exciting to see 16 junior high guys actually get into the Bible study and have that moment of understanding the WHY of its importance. Not only that, a number of the guys wanted to know about the SMT program and I could see a number of them coming back to camp and actually serving there!

On a light-hearted note, Pastor Ryan brought his arm chopping trick and showed it to the kids by threatening to slice my arm off as the crown jewel of his magic tricks. Even though I've witnessed this one before and actually know how it works, it still actually did scare me. But the kiddos loved it.

-Weekend trip to Mackinac Island. Many pictures, bike rides, a game of Ultimate Frisbee, and a deck of oversized cards resulted. I bought a new fedora this time!-

Week 3... Junior/Senior High Ranch Camp in Buffalo. Pastor Nate Schlaud, speaker.
Midway through my rainy week at High Point, Don asked me if I wanted to counsel Ranch Camp. Two weeks in a row of counseling that I wasn't expecting/entirely prepared for is a lot, but I knew I'd regret the chance to NOT spend the week with my Ranch guys again, so I said yes after about 5 seconds and in the end, I wasn't at all sorry.

This was a reunion week - all these campers I'd had at least twice now. Jacob, Tom and I were on our third time together at Ranch Camp together, Evan and I on year 2, and Thomas was on his fourth year (my only camper that I've had every single year!). When I read through my roster, I was so excited to see them all again and furthermore, have some time to bond with them; this cabin was a record-setter in terms of smallness (only 4 this week, as opposed to as many as 9 two years' prior at Ranch and as many as 14 for High School the week after the 9 that same year). And in addition to bonding, I was excited to do some discipleship with them since I already knew them.

And man had they GROWN! Those guys (especially Thomas, who I first met when he was in elementary school and he's now this tall guy in HIGH SCHOOL!) reminded me of how I've worked at camp long enough to see my campers grow up both inside and outside, and it's so exciting. The answers I've heard from these guys in the riding group Bible studies have deepened over the years, which is really cool and a number of these guys also wanted to know about the SMT and Junior Wrangler programs, so I hope to see them back at camp working in the future, too.

Week 4... Pastor Jim Lacy, speaker
After two weeks "on assignment," as I described it (I decided to borrow a term from the news media, which made the SMTs laugh when we all happily greeted each other), I came home to Maple at long last and my Core Staff and SMT housemates! It's so weird - we still saw each other during the week and weekends, but... I still felt like I had missed a ton. It got REALLY lonely being gone from Maple, the other Core Staff, and the SMTs for so long.

This week was probably the most fun of all of the regular weeks by far. I felt like I bonded with all of the campers the most out of all the weeks that I wasn't counseling and I had a chance to actually spend a LITTLE time with some of the other staff when I wasn't working (I'm core staff and not a counselor? What?). Even though this was Fourth of July week and really small again, thanks to lots of families on vacation, the kids had a BLAST and some of the junior high campers (and a few sneaky high school kids who were in junior high cabins) were REALLY interested in coming back as SMTs too. The campers' interest this year seems sky high, which is really exciting.

Week 5... Pastor Ron Sheveland, speaker.
Welcome to the staff reunion week of camp, as well as the most challenging week of our own camps. We had a number of our former staffers (N-Sto, Patrick, and Kris!) return to help us with counseling which was perfect timing - this week was pretty much full at camp, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

My core group in particular had some challenges in their cabins. My hope is that I did what I set out to do at the beginning of the summer in making a goal of being the core staff that was there for my guys and that helped make their work easier where I could.

Ron Sheveland was our speaker this week, which was kind of exciting - I remember him from when I was a family camper back in high school and he was just as funny (and interesting, at least to me) as he was when I was a kid. He and his whole family did a great job!

And with that, the regular camps ended and guest groups began...

Week 6 - Valley Family Church, "En Fuego" UNITED 2011
This was my fourth out of four years working with VFC, so it's exciting to see their kidlets become middle schoolers and now, almost high schoolers! By this point, their staffers have started to remember me too, so it's cool to form closer relationships with some of their staff.

VFC taught me plenty. I'll admit, I haven't given this church the chance I should have. Though the Bible doesn't teach open-mindedness (and in fact, to test the spirits whether they are from God, as taught in I John), I wrote off our friends from VFC from the start. Duane reminded our staff how much they value reaching the lost, how much they love their kids, and even if some of the details I disagree with (and might be a problem with me were I to go to chapel), there ARE still things I can learn from them, as I remembered when talking with Dakota.

VFC taught me about thankfulness. A camper who went blobbing (his first time!) came up and thanked me for everything, even though I was lifeguarding a completely different zone in the waterfront. Though not all the campers were as thankful as this dude was, it reminded me that we need to be thankful. All the time (I Thessalonians 5!). And I also learned from their worship that I need to be more open and free with my open worship wherever I am. I'm sure the campers from VFC, like everyone, are a bit more free and open at camp, but they seemed to be completely unconcerned about their appearances and totally lost in the moment with God, and I was really captivated by that idea.

Week 7 - Ward Kids Kamp
Ward Evangelical Presbyterian Church had me a little nervous, admittedly. I wasn't sure how to react to them and they were new to almost all of our staff outside the year-rounders.

I need not have worried. I met their waterfront director and one of their lifeguards almost right off the bat while lifeguarding a staff swim and they, along with the rest of the staff, were all quite nice. Like VFC, they take their ministry to their campers very seriously, though in their own way. I don't understand ALL their methods, but they, like we, have a common objective. And more importantly, it was (and IS) wrong of me to judge them.

Week 8 - Camp Woodside 2011
This week doesn't conjure up much memory except our rockin' core party. I finally got to show my guys a bit of appreciation PIBS-style with Stromboli Monday. I had a blast, and so did Dakota, Mike, and Travis. I unfortunately didn't get to work with the group this week much because... I had to come home to be with my family. It was probably the hardest trip of the summer.

But I'm grateful Dad pulled through okay.

Week 9 - Armada PAL Camp 2011
Working with Armada's group was easily the biggest challenge. I probably wasn't entirely focused because of how Dad was doing anyway, but the issues that come up with an incredibly large group that is also NOT church-based didn't help make things any easier. But regardless, I had to learn to carry on and do what I had to and remind myself of what Don told us during Staff Training so many times: "We are here to SERVE." It was an excellent reminder.

I did have nice digs - having to move out of the Ranch was kinda stinky, but I pretty much had a fortress with the tent from home. A tent labeled for 7 people, porch and everything, all for me!

-Staff comedy bowling, farewells, visit to Coopersville to see Ross!-

BONUS mini-week 10 - Central Wesleyan Church Youth Retreat
Holland and Tustin-it felt like a collision of worlds to staff this camp. Maybe it's because I lived in Holland and also had a large number of students there (over one thousand over the course of my Hope days), but I would have loved to spend time actually talking with these kids since Pastor Brian told me last spring about the constant stream of stories from people who were unchurched before coming to Engedi Church. Central Wesleyan Church planted my own church, Engedi, back in 2005, so to work with the parent church at camp (and meet a couple of Hope students!) was really cool.

This crew was TONS of fun to work with and they had a BLAST. Their speaker, Garrett, met with me before their chapel rally on Friday night and he said he was really hoping and praying for God to move in these kids' lives and asked for prayer from our staff as well. It reminded me of a summer version of Fire & Ice. I'm glad I caught him again on Sunday, and it seems that lives were changed over this camp experience!

-One week off to sleep and the man camp-IN with N-Sto, Nato, and Dakota-

Long weekend 11-Labor Day Family Camp
The annual Family Camp! What a time it was. I always get a little bummed because I don't get to spend much time listening to chapel, but as I think about it, hanging with the kids (little kids for the first time ever in four years of family camp and one springtime Annual Meeting for Converge!) lets the parents enjoy it without being distracted by their kids needs and the kids get to do camp. It's worth it.

This year seemed like a man staff reunion - I thought it was going to be just N-Sto and me along with Mike & Amy, (we scored MACKINAW as our digs, YEEEAAAAHHH!!!!) we saw like half the guys from GR come up. I think this might also be the first Family Camp I didn't touch a rope since getting checked to belay. It was downright weird. Though I did earn a right nice raccoon burn.

So what are the big things I learned after around 13-14 weeks at Center Lake?

-"We're here to serve" is what it looks like to love your neighbor. It doesn't matter, even if I hate what I'm doing, or people are acting like jerks despite what I'm doing for them. I spectacularly failed at that this summer and still do, but I'm learning.
-I really, really, REALLY loved working in the worship arts area. It was an absolute joy. And I need to figure out if that means something more than just I liked my summer 2011 job.
-I'm still thinking hard about that conversation I had with Dakota about what our worship with others on Sundays looks like. Still processing.
-I couldn't be more grateful for the support EVERYONE at Center Lake, Temple Hill, and Cornerstone for helping me get through the summer with how my dad's health was/is. I still think if I had to face this situation anywhere that wasn't home, camp probably was one of the best places to have to be. And maybe, knowing me, it was the best place. Don tells us that it's no accident campers were there, and I don't think it's an accident that I was there at camp this summer, either. To work, or be ministered too. So to everyone (friends, colleagues, fellow church members, etc.): THANK YOU.

It was a great summer. Hard. Challenging. Growing. And lots of fun. And I'd do it over again in a heartbeat.

Here I Go Again

I'm setting up for another summer at camp.

A different kind.

This summer, I get to be one of the music guys with Casey at chapel. That's not my only job, but when I think of one of the big things I get to do, that's the first thing that comes to mind, among others. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I GET TO DO MUSIC with one of my good friends at Center Lake!

I think I'm going to love my job a lot. AGAIN.

I've been at this worship team thing for nine years between vocals and playing at church and at Hope. You'd think I'd feel ready for just about anything when it comes to worship band stuff but I still feel like I'm approaching something brand new.

I was watching a DVD the other day that Pastor Chris loaned me to screen for the church about worship bands. Paul Baloche was the primary teacher on it and one of the things he talked about right at the outset was this idea that in a worship band, being in WORSHIP to God must be the objective. Creating beautiful music and something artistic are absolutely part of the equation, and I firmly believe those are part of worship. In fact, the Psalms talk about playing skillfully to the Lord. Music can be a powerful way to set the mood of people towards thinking about God when maybe they weren't before. And I'll be honest-worshiping God through music is one of my favorite ways to do so.

But that's just it.

I remember once being taught at a worship workshop at church a couple years ago that as a member of a worship band, we have to be worshipers FIRST. As people who lead, we can't ever let it be about ourselves and we have to be just as much a part of the congregation. That's probably my biggest prayer for this summer.

I want to give absolutely everything I can to help make some awesome music for camp. But more importantly, to be a worshiper of our God with everyone that sets foot in the chapel's doors with them.

God is still God

I recently heard from one of my friends for the first time in weeks. The conversation made me realize that even that can be quite some time when you're submerged from your little social network and your cell phone, whether it's busyness or whatever.

While we were talking, we got on the subject of a mutual good friend, and how things were. Unfortunately, the news wasn't good. REALLY not good, actually.

I'm so sad to hear that. Not to mention a number of people back here at home aren't doing well, my friends who are deployed in the armed forces to dangerous parts of the world, more friends moving far away, and the list of things wrong coming from the magic picture box. And so the list goes on and on. What really has happened to this world?

Yet I'm reminded amid all this great tragedy, sadness, and uncertainty about how God is unchanging and His love is steadfast.

Psalm 66:16-20
¹⁶Come and hear, all you who fear God,
and I will tell what he has done for my soul.
¹⁷I cried to him with my mouth,
and high praise was on my tongue.
¹⁸If I had cherished iniquity in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened.
¹⁹But truly God has listened;
he has attended to the voice of my prayer.

²⁰Blessed be God,
because he has not rejected my prayer
or removed his steadfast love from me!

Hebrews 10:23-25
23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Revelation 21:3-4
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. ⁴ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

I've mentioned in a previous post about how I had to read a book for senior seminar by Rev Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. called Strength to Love. It's actually a collection of his sermons and it really does cover a lot in not very many pages. One of my favorite points from that collection had to do with adversity, which not only is relevant to the Civil Rights movement, but to anyone who faces adversity today.

In a nutshell, he taught that just because we pray and wonder about where God IS and wonder WHY bad things happen, doesn't mean that God isn't ministering to the hurting and broken in some unseen way that we can't understand. Just as the prophet Isaiah and the apostle Paul wrote, no one can fully understand the intricate workings of God. It seems God was at work ministering to Joseph every step of the way even while he was in a hole in the ground, left for dead by his brothers or while in an Egyptian prison. Why would it be any different now?

As for my friend who's still hurting and sick months later and has me worried and wondering why, I will keep praying anyway. God is still God and I don't believe He ever abandoned my friend.