Rebellious thoughts from camp.

Inadequacy. In some ways, I feel like that's the only way I can describe my summer.

"But Tyler, how on Earth can you feel that way? You've done this before. You've been to college. You went in just finishing a teaching job!"

But that's just it.

I loved my teaching job in Ludington. It was the best thing to happen and I was happy to have a positive experience at the secondary level, work with students that were actually MY kids, teach them about singing, and learn more about teaching (and the challenges I'm still facing). But the one problem that had to do with camp that was that I had to rush right off to Tustin. Don was perfectly okay with this, for which I was very grateful. But in some respects, I thought I was going in unprepared for the next phase of life, which took a lot of twists. Staff training went great and I got to meet the rest of the team and reunite with some old friends. And together, everyone made a pretty good team this year.

Week 1... Junior High Camp in Huron. Pastor Jim Lacy, speaker.
My summer started a LOT like summer 2009 - with junior high boys up at High Point. And it was a great beginning this year-I had an absolutely AMAZING tent of guys, and so did Cameron. We could take them just about anywhere, do just about anything with them because they were game for just about anything. I'm still sad we weren't able to pull off camping out on Sunshine Mountain with them because they totally would have loved it!. They were probably one of the most chill group of junior high guys I've had in a cabin/tent yet.

Cameron had a camper in his tent that totally got all geeked about the Bible studies and loved talking about stuff with me - we had quite a discussion about Revelation 21 before our campfire and God making His dwelling with His people. He got all excited just talking about that and the pure thought of living with God someday on the newly-recreated Earth. I really hope Sonny becomes an SMT-he's totally the kind of person that I could see doing it. I really wish I could have had a chance to talk with him some more, but I couldn't. But talking with my guys about stuff WAS awesome.

Week 2... Junior Camp in Pictured Rock. Pastor Ken Nichols, speaker.
For the first time, I didn't have a long move! But I had to switch tents up at High Point (from Huron to Pictured Rock). And it meant switching mental gears - week 2 was our week where camp was completely loaded with younger kids. Though I was technically working with junior campers, it felt at times like I was counseling Pre Camp for the first time in two years just because of the age of some of my kids (they couldn't be more than 8 or 9) and how needy they were, except all week.

Despite some of the bad stupid moments, it was actually a pretty good cabin (one of the better junior cabins I've had-and I've had some rough ones), I had some hilarious moments with them (the best quote of the summer came from one of my kids doing counselor impressions-"Why don't we just SKIP IT!!"), and one of my boys got saved this week at camp, which is the big reason why we do what we do at camp-starting and renewing relationships with Christ. Not a bad week at all.

Week 3... Junior/Junior High Ranch Camp in Buffalo. Pastor Dave Heyn, speaker.
I made the longest move ever (from High Point to Ranch!). As I made the transition, I was praying/hoping a bit before this week began for a number of reasons. Last year's drama with all the campers the week we had girls and guys at Ranch Camp, plus all the rain that made it tough to be outside (and the c-c-c-COLD!) made for a pretty miserable week. I really, REALLY didn't want a bad week for my kids this year. Thankfully, this week was much sunnier, warmer, and despite PLENTY of interaction between the campers (a lot of these kids are in middle school, and one of my once-junior campers is now taller than me, yikes!), the kids had a good week. And despite an age gap of around 5-6 years between my youngest and oldest campers and a good ten-twelve inches in height between them, all the guys got along very well. The guys were LOUD. The girls were LOUD. But it wasn't a bad kind of loud, as I was talking with Carissa, Michelle, and Ethan. It was just... crazy.

Counseling at Ranch Camp is always special just because we're out away from everything else so the kids tend to bond pretty quickly and I've gotten to know some of these kids over the past, well, now three years. Some of them I've gotten to watch literally grow up (and they're taller than I am now, which is a little scary!) I had some really good talks with my guys this year, I really enjoyed praying with them, and also had a reminder about sometimes service at camp is in the behind-the-scenes rather than the fun, obvious things that staffers do. Mandi reminded me of that in a friendly but very clear way.

(I also saw a lot of my former campers from years past on this week, including my dudes from the TC area from my very first week of counseling - they're junior high campers now too, they're getting tall, and it's reminding me how long I've been doing this.)

-Pause, partial staff exit to Mackinac Island for weekend of mayhem-

Week 4... Senior High Camp with Isaiah and Seth in Squirrel. Pastor Ryan Huebner, speaker.
I was really psyched about this for a number of reasons. First, high school camp was loads of fun last year, I learned a ton from the week, and... well, a little more simply,

1. I was back at MAIN CAMP. That means being near other people and stuff.
   
2. I was with Isaiah (with whom I hadn't counseled since his very first week ever as a CIT back in 2008!) and Seth.
3. A number of my high school campers from last year were back yet again!

But the week wasn't just all kicks and giggles - a nearly stress-free week the year before with high school guys the year before wasn't like that this year. I had one camper who had some additional needs (hence why Seth was also in the cabin) who ended up needing to leave early. I was honest with other staffers that while I was bummed that he couldn't stay, I was also a little relieved with regards to not having the extra stress, and Seth was able to stick around in our cabin and work with the other guys. Speaking of visiting staff, this was again the week for visitors-Austin, Rachel, & Patrick all came back as counselors again and Isaac came ALL the way up from Kansas to visit family and ended up stopping in to see everyone at camp!

The teaching was REALLY good-Pastor Ryan challenged the kids (and made me think about how to make all this stuff real in my own life) and so did my fellow colleagues during their talks to the guys about purity. The time of sharing around the campfire was especially powerful and I really enjoyed how real it was. That, I believe, is one of the positive facets being able to serve the older campers. Even though there's more drama and the issues can get more difficult, we can really attack what's going on in people's lives and say, "Hey. This is what this is. And yeah, it IS tough. The Bible says this. Take joy from that alone. And let's live it like this so we're not going home without some sort of idea of what to do."

-Pause, partial staff exit to Ludington during Family Camp for weekend of rest and mayhem-

Week 5... Junior High Camp in Petoskey. Pastor Scott Gardziella, speaker.
The transition from senior high campers (who really ARE exhausting!) was a bit easier this time around-I had junior high the following week! But to be honest, I was a little dismayed to be back at High Point because... it gets lonely way back where no one goes except us. However, I was with Dan again and Colby too, and since it was a trio of tents, we'd be doing stuff together. I also had some campers that I knew from either having had at camp before or from church, so that was exciting. However, this week was a bit taxing for a number of reasons.

I had some campers that just simply have stuff going on. Others didn't, so the tent dynamic was REALLY dichotomous. And this was where teaching really got intense. Again. I had on my mind a lot of the stuff from Senior High Camp and I wasn't entirely sure how it might play into this week, though I was certain I didn't want to just ignore it, since I knew

1. It's relevant to junior high guys.
2. Ignoring the topics we discussed with during senior high week would NOT be an option. They're part of that whole pie related to what life actually LOOKS LIKE for a Christian who wants to mean what he says about not just praying the prayer to be one and walking away.
   

But how? As it ended up happening, Bible study became the launching point and we took it from there. It ended up working just fine between Bible study, a prayer work that dovetailed into our campfire and a couple of discussions I had with some of the guys. I felt like I wasn't prepared to talk about such heavy, deep topics. I felt downright inadequate, like I was the wrong person. But if I didn't... then I wasn't sure if anyone would. And as I've thought about it, I wish I'D have heard about this kind of stuff at camp and church and youth group than school and health classes. So if we don't talk to these guys about the scary, heavy-hitting topics that we don't like... then who will?

I talked to a couple of core staff during the week, who knew I wasn't doing well-Becky gave me some good advice along the way and said, "Do a heart check, then." She highly recommended spending some time in prayer, in the Word and finding out where I am and getting my brain, my heart, and so on back where it should be-serving Christ, and my campers, right there and then rather than worrying about me. And it made a difference. Despite it being a tougher week, some of the best conversations I had with campers came from this week. And the kids appreciated it.

-Postlude, staff exuent to First Street Beach in Manistee for enough steak to slay an elephant and a night on the sand and the water (and fish throwing!)-

Appendix... with various staff.
Beach times were great. I ate way too much steak, tons of other snacky stuff, drank tons of pop and let out a couple belches that impressed Don and Sue (yes!), and played some pretty epic volleyball with Kristen, Tiki, Jamie, Candace, Mike, and other people I'm forgetting. Saying good-bye was hard as always because as I've personally experienced twice now, I never know when I'll see some of these good friends again. Sometimes it's not for around a year (or more!), as was the case when Isaiah woke me up from a near-sleep as promised when he arrived for staff training. It's tough-the people you serve with become your greatest friends and separation becomes tough, but I think back to what Trygve taught around graduation in 2008 at Hope: "It's not good-bye. It's until we meet again." How true it us, for those of us who are in Christ.

So I came home for the first week of what Center Lake calls "rental" camps, essentially where churches come, do a week-long retreat at camp on their own, and we provide whatever support they need to run camp. Depending on their needs, it might be a little or a lot. I stayed home the first week and... went camping with the visiting family from NJ. The cousins (and so did Uncle Wade!) asked a zillion things about camp, so I finally showed them two weeks of footage from junior high and senior high camps, including testimonials from campers (thanks Isaac, yours really helped sell it!). Allie and Luke asked Uncle Wade point blank, "We want to go to Center Lake next summer!" I'm praying already.

I returned to Center Lake after that week for Valley Family Church's (VFC) rental camp with its middle school & high school youth groups, as I have every year. It was good to see a number of my friends again and to do camp again. Though it's their camp (and their church staff is getting very good at scheduling and running things by now), they still have us help them out with the more intense areas. So it's fun to come back and help out-I like it and I've come to enjoy working with their staff. They're very appreciative and so are the kids. I got to go on possibly the largest boating outing we've ever taken on the Pine River with Don, Jesse, & Monika and I had the privilege of going in the double kayak (the Stalker). Even cooler, I jumped it over a rock, so I can literally say I jumped the Stalker! As an additional bonus, I got to work the guest High Ropes group from Son-Life Camp & Retreat Center down in Wayland on their Outpost trip - (cool aside: their extra-tall staffer got two solid kicks off the Sky Deck with some coaching from Duane on the Giant Swing and almost landed a third!) I figured after this week and one final service at Temple Hill, I'd be done and returning home, but... Duane asked me, "Tyler, what are you doing next week?"
"Um, nothing yet."
"Would you like to work at camp next week?"

And with that, I was set to come back for another week, this time with Woodside Bible Church network out of the Detroit metro area and its kids camp. It was definitely different than VFC but they were also appreciative and I liked working with them too. Lots of time spent in housekeeping (as with the previous week) and at the flying squirrel and climbing tower. And after Thursday's programming was up, I had myself already packed up and ready to go and had to say my good-byes to everyone who was still there. In a way, I was ready to say farewell for the summer but at the same time, it was hard. But then came the whirlwind weekend-Spring Lake, Muskegon, Coopersville, and Holland all in two days for Ben's bachelor party/prayer night, visiting Leah, visiting Ross (and seeing Matt!), and Ben's wedding! Quite a weekend.

So. What did I take away from one and a half weeks of staff training, five weeks of counseling, one week off, two weeks of retreat hosting/housekeeping, and a whirlwind weekend of visiting friends/watching one of my closest friends finally tie the knot with his wife?

1. I felt completely, utterly inadequate to teach my guys on some of the scariest topics that people face. I knew that I had to talk to them about this stuff, and I didn't want to touch any of it with a ten-foot pole. But somehow, despite all my failings (and the fact that God knew I really didn't want to do any of this), it still worked out. I'm not Moses. I'm not Elijah. Or Jeremiah. But my kids still got the point. And it made a difference.
2. I really, REALLY need to know my Bible better. I felt like the parts that I did get through earlier this spring in my attempt to read through in three months I know better than ever. But the rest is still cloudy. And make no mistake, this goal will be a lifelong goal. It's something I know everyone should strive for, but I believe especially as someone who wants to work with kids at youth group and camp that it's possibly even more important.

I don't want my whole summer (because it pretty much has except for a few weeks) to be a gigantic Jesus jolt, as my camper, Darin, rightfully describes it. Yes, I miss my friends and would love to see them all the time. I miss the place called Center Lake Bible Camp. I gladly admit that I miss people that I love. I love the memories.

But as summertime has ended: I take away a resolve to know my Bible better. I REBEL AGAINST IGNORANCE!!!!

Sunday, 30 December 2007

Be there...

I came to discover something the past day or so. I took a short trip away from Ludington and once again journeyed south to Coopersville and saw ROSS REYNOLDS!!!! Sadly, Nate and his family had gone way up north for a skiing excursion, so I couldn't see them. Ah, no matter-Ross and his family make excellent company and are good enough excuses for a visit. And that's what it was. With no snow (or so it seemed, mostly...), Ross and I had to make up our entertainment: fighting our way through the post-Christmas sales to return a gift to Best Buy and RiverTown Crossings (I absolutely HATE driving in Grandville), giving Ross his Christmas present, playing two cutthroat rounds of 221b Baker Street with his parents, and watching Ocean's Eleven on that schnazzy movie projector. Oh yeah, and there was a bit of shooting the breeze, sharing weird stories, and probably some laughing in there, too.

"Tyler, how do you think of all these stories?"~Ross
"That's just how fast my brain goes."~Tyler

That's the memorable quote from the trip. I'm thinking my brain's setting itself up to blow a gasket soon.

I guess where I felt sort of bad is Ross being so hard on himself for not planning a ton while I came down. It honestly didn't bother me (Ross... if you're reading this: I mean it.). Simply being with my friends is good enough and it's not often that we can't think of SOMETHING. And I think just being there can mean something, too. That's all I think I could really do when we all came tearing across the house when it all started with his grandmother. Thankfully she's okay for the most part now, as far as I know, but I knew I couldn't do a ton beyond just sort of being there for Ross and his family. And now praying for them.

Just sort of being there was sort of the same thing I discovered when I journeyed through the first part of that nasty snowstorm to Spring Lake to visit Ben. No, we didn't do anything in particular besides sip a nice mug of hot chocolate, laugh like crazy at a Mike Huckabee political ad featuring Chuck Norris on YouTube, and catch up on each other's lives. And it was great. It was enough to just sit down together and talk with my good friend, picking up exactly where we left off in July. I expect it'll happen again sometime after May. And I hope it'll be just as sweet then.

Then came the big adventure: I drove through my first massive snowstorm! Ben sent me on my way somewhere between 6:15 and 6:30 and I didn't arrive home until 8. It was nasty, the wind blew, the snow fell hard, I got sprayed with slush by trucks and SUVs, and I even slid around and almost couldn't find the road a couple times, but I made it and didn't get in an accident, either. I've proven myself a true Michigan resident.

Nik shared the amazingness of Flarp over the phone with me. Yes, I was glad to talk to him, we talked about some more serious stuff, and it was good. But considering how tired I was, this was possibly the high point of the conversation (my mother could hear me laughing through two closed doors). Flarp is terrifying... and amazing. If you don't know what Flarp is or does, look up its Wikipedia entry.

Currently Listening Live Unplugged By Jeremy Camp Beautiful One see related

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Fall Break... an adventure

I've never split one of Hope's short breaks between two places. It was interesting to do that, and although it sort of made it feel shorter because the long travel home was put into the middle of the break, I think it was well-spent.

Now we're even for birthdays! When I saw that Jeremy Camp was coming to Lansing in September, I really wanted to go and thought it was the perfect 22nd celebration. But as I wrote, part of the concert experience is going with friends. It's just an unwritten rule. I was sad Brandon couldn't come with us too, but I was glad Ross could come, share the fun, and that we could worship together with everyone else in the church.

Admittedly, my feelings were slightly divided over not going home right away. Student teaching is coming fast and my time up home is going to be very limited during that semester, and here I am cutting it shorter. But Ross insisted I join him for his own birthday celebration back in Coopersville. And so I did.

I extinguished some of my own guilt in doing so. Poor Ross had the rug pulled from under his feet (or would the expression be the wheel pulled from his hands?) when it comes to wheels and needed a lift home, so I felt a little better not going straight home. I brought birthday boy home along with myself and his mighty roommate, Travis. After hanging around for awhile, Matt arrived too, rounding out the Hope entourage. All we waited for was Josh and Maren.

After the final two guests arrived, I saw the full extent of the hospitality Ross' parents offer at the table. It literally never ended. We were sitting across from each other, but I think Travis and I also figuratively saw eye-to-eye on this one as they just kept sending the food down with the warning that dessert was also coming. The expression Travis had (a mixture of desire to enjoy the home cooking while it lasted and exasperation from being offered more when he was full) was priceless. But I understood completely. And then came the birthday "cake." I don't know if he asked for it, but Ross earned a cheesecake for his final teenage birthday, which I must admit is pretty sweet. Speaking of which, so was the cheesecake. It was delicious.

Family tradition then broke through: it was time to give Ross the birthday gifts, but instead of just handing them to him, the parents gave Ross a clue and sent us off looking for the gifts. A hunt! A scavenger hunt! We were sent literally all over his house looking for the clues and thinking out loud became our best way of figuring the clues out. Even though the stakes weren't exactly the same as a city being blown up or a global terrorist getting his hands on a weapon of mass destruction, I sort of felt like I was thinking with the mindset of Bruce Willis & Samuel L. Jackson solving Simon Gruber's riddles in Die Hard: With a Vengeance or Tom Cruise and his crew running around the world after Owen Davian in Mission: Impossible III. We actually found the presents too early (three clues remaining before we were supposed to find them), so oops on our part, I guess.

Maren, Travis, and Josh had to bid us farewell after Ross opened the gifts (a new acoustic guitar and a powerful amp to match). Whilst Matt brought Travis back to Holland, Ross and I tuned up the guitar and turned the living room into a room of music and began a night of singing. I also quieted Ross' longings at the Jeremy Camp concert with Jeremy Camp's latest CD. I must admit, I love those "I never forgot you wanted" presents. Matt returned later and by that point, we cut the noise and decided chit-chat was more appropriate. I wonder if we were wrong-though we made it past the tiredness "hump," it broke down into an almost-wrestling match after I gave Matt a very thorough Wet Willie. Ross managed to get a birthday wedgie after he and I tried a dogpile on Matt. We're so nice to each other.

Thankfully, we weren't awoken at an early hour, seeing as it was almost 2 when we went to sleep, but that unfortunately did mean we had to run out the door to get to lunch with Maren, Stacey, and Karna in Grand Rapids. I wish it could have lasted, but regrettably that was where we all had to part ways. But Fall Break continued on...

I hurried to Ludington and went to church. Yes, church, and not home. I was told the young adults were doing something I hadn't done in four years and jumped at the chance to try again: A CIDER PRESS!!!! The methods were a bit cruder-we used an honest-to-goodness garbage disposal (the kind that go under sinks) to shred the chopped apples to pulp and had presses that were a lot smaller. Jordan, who takes joy in history & all things old, was giddy at the chance to push the oversized bag into the press with his hands, releasing cider in the process. Yes, my brother actually pressed cider the oldest way possible-by hand. I stuck to the press, but I was amused by the irony of the Viking pressing cider by hand. We did some pumpkin carving with great hilarity as well, but I passed on that. I'd had enough after pressing cider and plenty in Coopersville/Grand Rapids that day. I did manage to get home for a short time, but Jordan yanked me out the door just as fast for dinner and then movie out at Sean's house. The hanging out was even better-with enough people, multiple threads of conversations were always running. Jordan, Sean, and Steve always ensure that madness is an integral part of these exchanges, and although most of the females are just weirded out or even sometimes repulsed by it, I found Rosanna's response amusing:

"I like hanging out with these guys. You have to pay attention."

Rosanna, if only you knew.

Sunday follows the usual prescription of church-lunch-sleep and whatnot and I already wrote about the teaching joys on Monday. Tuesday, I was sad to leave, but luckily I had some nice company for coming back to Hope. I gave Liz a ride back from Manistee to Holland with me, which was sweet. I like having company and I haven't been able to talk to Liz in a while, so that was good too.

Yay Fall Break.

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Idea... I Need an Idea... OKAY, I HAVE AN IDEA!

So on Friday, I wanted a response from anyone in the Bible Studs who wanted to lead Monday night's discussion. I had none, so I guess that means I'm on deck, which is fine. I love teaching. At least, I certainly hope I love teaching, being an education major and all.

But this year, figuring out what to teach is more difficult. The approach we've taken is different, sort of like the tail end of last year-exploring topics of interest rather than snowplowing our way through a book of the Bible. We did that for two solid years, which was sweet-I can't help but think of the Bible Studs now whenever I read stuff out of Nehemiah, Hebrews, Romans, or Malachi. But a switch is healthy. We don't need to get stuck in what we've always done.

That also means, however, that the topic is never just laid in front of me. There's no chapter that I'm in charge of dissecting, analyzing, and drawing meaning out of for the others to ponder. I have to figure out what we'll be thinking about, and then formulating some sort of plan of discussion (or lecture, I guess) from there. I'm such a teacher.

Little did I know that so many seemingly different factors would converge to inspire me for Monday's lesson. It blows my mind to think about them...

1. Working on my first Senior Sem project forced me to confront some painful spiritual issues from my past. It was emotionally difficult, but necessary.
2. At Chapel Choir retreat, Jordan (not you, big bro) asked me sort of out of the blue why I believe in Jesus as my Savior. I would have never expected to be asked that question then, but I'm glad he did. I finally realized that weekend that I had an answer ready if someone would ask me.
3. Jeremy Camp read several passages of Scripture while talking to the audience on Friday, but the one that really resounded with me was in II Corinthians 5:17-19. It refers to the new creation and God's reconciling those of us who are in Christ to Him. After working on my project, that hit home. It was refreshing.
4. Ross asked me what was going on in my life spiritually as we were coming home from Lansing. As I had already written, I badly needed to talk to a close, trusted friend about what I had to work on for Senior Sem. and what it had done to me. And I also wanted to tell someone so badly that I had finally learned to let go of those bad memories.
5. At Engedi this morning, Pastor Brian continued the idea of restoration beginning first by wrapping up Jesus talking with the Samaritan woman at the well, mentioned in John 4 and then the account in John 9 of healing the blind man. He then moved on to talking about sharing testimonies, the topic for this Sunday. The supporting passage he began with was... II Corinthians 5:17. The new creation. The reconciliation. The same thing Jeremy Camp had just read to everyone only two nights before. I almost fell out of my chair.

I think I have an idea now.

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Why did you call me with that OUTRAGEOUS accent?!

I received a phone call from a guy with a strange voice, and before I knew it (several hours later), there was a Ross Reynolds in my house. So I put my tour guide hat back on and did it all over again. House tour (short). Church tour plus a view of the old building. HOF ice cream after getting pushed behind a family of fifty-three or thirteen or some alot number. Watching the moon rise over the beach and sharing stories. Back to the house for a short time of singing at the piano. More talking on the porch and prayer & then as quickly as he arrived, my friend left.

I had told Ben last week that this summer has been a lot different from last summer. Last summer, right about now, I was in Salzburg, Austria, just about ready to leave for Köln, Germany. This summer, no traveling beyond my weekend in Holland and a possible road trip to Brutus/Pellston/Petoskey. It could be a letdown, but as Ben said, "A summer of visiting people and being visited is great! I love it."

I have to agree.

Currently Listening Dixieland Dance Party By Derek Smith see related